The Blurred Line

Day 1 - A&E and HDU

I was taken to Raigmore hospital, Inverness, which rather fortunately has a brilliant reputation for orthopaedic work. Right from the beginning they were very insistent that the injury was very bad and limb threatening. I'd known this ever since it had happened. I remember a rather lovely doctor called Duncan in a yellow apron who actually called up the next day when I was on the ward to see how I was doing. I'm very sorry that I can't remember any of the other names of the brilliant nurses and medics who looked after me except of course the wonderful Mr McCloud who did the amazing to my leg that they were very impressed with later on in St Mary's.

They cut all my clothes off except my nice soft shell cut and my sports bra which I asked them to keep on me – it's a very nice and comfy sports bra! But my cheap base-layers and trousers were cut off – they won't be missed much especially since they were drenched in blood. They asked if there was anything in the pockets – "Only a cereal bar which you're welcome to have! It's nutty and chocolatey and shouldn't go to waste!" I'm pretty sure it did go to waste and got binned. They still put all my clothes in a bag for my mum to pick up, with all the blood pooled at the bottom. Mum swiftly disposed of the bag and its contents in a clinical waste bin when it was given to her.

They gave me an x-ray then and there which was very interesting especially for a medical imaging science student like me. I'll have to attach the pictures when I get them to this post so stay tuned.

The catheter was a very weird sensation – like they were pressing on your bladder and you wanted to wee. Being a lady, they also had to poke a few times until they got it in. "Is it in? Is it in?" I kept hearing. Finally it was in and I felt it go in. Since then my urine has simply run through a tube and into a box then a bag and then some poor nurse has to remove the urine from the bottom. I haven't had to worry about weeing – especially since I've been forced to drink so much but if the catheter gets caught on something, you have the sudden sensation that you really need to wee.

They put me to sleep for the first time and it all just felt like I had had a really really good sleep when I woke up but a sleep that hadn't lasted very long. My mum reckons it's like time travelling but I had lost all concept of time by this point. When I woke up, I didn't have the unstable limb I could barely feel except for intense pain. Instead, I had a plaster cast and a heavy metal frame and I couldn't move my leg at all. I dimly remember in recovery a man who looked like he'd been playing with papier mache who I assume put the cast on.

I was moved to HDU – the high dependency unit – not long after. The lift I went up in had a spaceship on the ceiling – I think the porters called it like the space lift or something like that. Except for the very last time as I was transported out of the hospital, I went in the exact same lift with the space ship.

After I was settled in HDU, Laura and Jonny and then Kim and Tom came to see me at about 8pm. They'd waited all that time to see me – I was so touched. I was so tired and so uncomfortable but it was such a relief to see them. I was on a lot of drugs and had started my new occupation as a human pin cushion but I was so glad to have my friends and I held their hands. They said I had just been unlucky and the rock that Tom had shouted about wasn't even the one that I had chosen and that had fallen on top of me. I was so relived. The entire day I'd felt so stupid and felt like I'd been negligent but to hear them think that I hadn't was such an overwhelming feeling. There's a thin blurred line between unlucky and lucky. My leg was crushed but nothing else was and I'm still me. Laura gave me pringles and my bag was full of snacks and all the things I might need. They were so kind. I was at the point of exhaustion when Tom and Kim came in but I was so happy to see them. It may be very melodramatic but these four saved my life and I hope each and every one of them realises what a hero they are.

The first lovely nurse, out of the chain of lovely nurses who have looked after me, was Frances. I was so uncomfortable, especially since I'm used to lying on my front, and the poor lady had to keep moving my leg into different positions as I couldn't do it myself. I can't move the leg myself – the weight and pain are just too much. It was a pretty awful night as the man opposite was very confused and kept shouting out but also I was monitored for blood pressure, oxygen saturation and temperature every hour at twenty minutes past the hour. I was so uncomfortable that I thought I would never get to sleep. But of course the stress and exhaustion overwhelmed me and I did sleep in bits and was lastly woken at 8am to be taken to the orthopaedics ward.