The Blurred Line

Day 6 - the chair and my friends

I should probably start with the early morning hours of Day 6. Storm Katie had ravaged the South East and it was actually pretty scary in my side room so high up. I'd asked for the windows to be left open which I severely regretted later on in the night. The ward is so high up with not many tall buildings surrounding at least side I could see meaning that building is very exposed.

The wind howled and moaned and gusted, the curtains flailing back and forth. The scariest thing was that the ensuite toilet door slammed shut which made me almost jump out the bed, if I could have I would have. I had to call for the nurse to close the windows and asked for a blanket. "I told you so," must have been running through her mind. An hour later I had to ask for another blanket, I felt very embarrassed. Even with the windows shut, the storm was so noisy which made my imagination run wild.

In the calm after the storm, I started the day semi watching the second Avengers movie – it's not really great enough to devote my entire attention to especially when I'm on these attention span shortening drugs. I was washed, had breakfast and the surgeons came round like normal to tell me that I would have surgery the next day. The surgery would just be another exploratory surgery to see the state of play and what they had to work with in my leg.

My phone was charged so I could natter to my mates on Facebook and Laura called my hospital phone in the morning for a whole hour which was really lovely. "Due to government restrictions", you are only supposed to be on the phone for half an hour and then they cut you out! So Laura just had to phone again!

Lucinda, the physiotherapist, came while I was on the phone to Laura and said she'd come back later but I said we'd been on the phone for like an hour so it was fine and quickly said by Laura. Lucinda introduced me to another physiotherapist called Eddie who was interested in bouldering and had been to a place in India that I really need to look but he said was really good. He usually works with people who were further down the line then I was at that stage so was interested in seeing a leg that was at an earlier stage of recovery. Lucinda told me that they'd try to get me into a chair which I was so excited about and that my mum had special permission to come in whenever she wanted.

They left me for a little bit while I phoned my mum up to tell her everything. She said that she'd be with me as soon as possible but was out buying some nighties and sport bras for me. I was still wearing the gorgeous and trendy hospital gowns that had no back or rather it tied up at the back – not that it mattered to me as I hadn't been out of bed in six days.

Lucinda and Eddie came back and awkwardly slide me into a chair with my leg resting on a footstool. I should probably add that my leg and foot was still in bandages and plaster at this point. I was quite contented and so they left me with my lunch and the excitement that my mum would be able to see me in a chair.

Not long after, the pain began. I could especially feel it in my ankle. I called the nurse but I know they are so busy so I just waited patiently with the pain building and building beyond something I could cope with. When the HCA came, I think I must have scared him half to death. I couldn't communicate what was wrong; "the howl" was the only thing I could say with bits of shattered words such as "ankle" spewing out at different times.

He quickly got Jill and again I tried to say that my ankle was in so much pain. Lucinda came back too and they managed to slide me awkwardly and very painfully back into the bed. Lucinda said that I was too stoic and should have made more of a fuss before it got so bad but I said that I don't like making a fuss. The chair hadn't been a failure though – it was a little step to recovery but one that had gone on just a little too long.

Oramorph helped me recover for when my parents and sister and grandparents turned up. Kevin dropped in too and I hope was glad to see I was much better than the state I had been in the day before. My godmother Helen also came in which was really good. I forgot to mention in day 5 that one of the first things my sister said to me was that she wanted to paint my nails! My nails were pretty grim and still a bit bloody from day 1. Unfortunately, I need my nails so they can regularly check my oxygen saturation levels but the day I get home I'm pretty sure my nails will be a different colour to what they were that morning.

Later on, my old housemate, Tikhoze, and her boyfriend, Jack, came to visit. I kissed them both on the cheek without thinking because I'd had become accustomed to kissing my family. It was probably an awkward surprise to them but oh well! They bought me a delicious chocolate gateau with a profiterole on top – very very yummy and the mousse texture was just what I wanted! It was just really lovely to see them and discuss what had happened with someone who wasn't my family and to find out what had happened in the world. Tikhoze suggested that she could bring me anything I was too embarrassed to ask my mum for – I can't think what she could be talking about!

Awkwardly by uncle Jim, auntie Vi and cousin Rosie popped their head in and gave me some interesting cheese muffins. I had never heard of savroury muffins before but we atually enjoyed them and they were lovely. They kept my mum going the next day as she wouldn't leave me for lunch. They just went down to the café and met the rest of my family down there as they didn't

One of my best mates, Jack, and his brother, Joe, came to visit as well which was lovely too. They bought some bunny rabbits for Easter Sunday. Again, it was nice to just to chat. Like most people, I don't think they'd realised just how serious the injury is. It's unfortunately not just a simple break that can be solved with a bit of plaster.

I had one last hour with my sister and parents. I had a bit of a moment, thinking about the things I may not be able to go to: the formal dinner I'd organised for the hiking club, Lizzie's wedding I'd been invited to (and the first wedding I'd ever been invited to even if it was just for the reception), all the hikes I couldn't go on, the Adele concert my sister spent hours getting tickets for. Perhaps it might run through some people's minds that I'm not as active as other people, perhaps someone who ran every morning would be more frustrated at lying in bed for this time. I am frustrated at lying in bed. I want to just walk around and go to the toilet in an actual toilet let lone get up and tap dance in the ward. If I hadn't been a relatively fit person, I wouldn't be in this situation. I would be safe at home watching TV in the flat I've just moved into.

But my family consoled me and left me to sleep in a relatively settled state with my mum saying she'd be with early to see me before my surgery.

The picture above is the owl my mum bought on day 2 which has been kindly named "Cedric" by my friend Emily. I have another owl which is currently named "Milly" by Ty but I think I'm going to run a comp to see if we can give her a better name.