The Blurred Line

Day 39 - Good food, good company and retail therapy

With my hair still looking alright from my haircut the day before, some really pretty blue/ purple earrings Mum lent me and the white scarf with silver feathers, I really felt pretty. Everyone needs to feel pretty once in a while, whether they are or not in the eyes of others but then who cares about the others! I felt pretty for the first time in at least 5 weeks.

Mum had been thinking we'd go to Kew gardens in the morning but I take too long to get ready in the morning and we were faffing so we decided to go the next day as we were meting my uncle Jim, aunt Vi, cousin Rosie and my grandparents John and Doffy. Unbelievably, me and Mum were the first ones there – Dad had dropped us off on the way to football. I almost corrected Mum when she said that there were only 7 of us – I'd forgotten Susanna wasn't with us! What a weird sensation – like forgetting you haven't got your leg! Sometimes I do feel like I've lost a part of myself when she goes away.

Anyways, sentimentality apart, we sat outside for a little while, drinking coffee and enjoying the sun whilst it lasted. I joked that maybe the vitamin D would grow my leg back. The meal was gorgeous as always at Ask – me and Vi had a long chat about Masterchef, which I love now (I have been in hospital too long), and the multitude of cooking shows on TV. I was a bit delighted really that Ask had an accessible toilet – well just accessible toilet to be perfectly honest but I was glad not to have to do plan B of somehow hopping into the normal ladies' toilet. Rosie is so grown up already; I can't wait to see what she'll end up being in 10 years time and I'm sure she'll be successful in whatever she wants to do though I sincerely hope that does not include anything to do with rocks.

To get home, we had to get the bus which meant public transport for the first time in my life. The 65 bus wasn't actually too bad and gave a fair amount of space for the wheelchair. The people on the bus could have been better. One lady decided standing in front of me – though to be fair right be the wall – in the wheelchair bay was the best place to tuck herself. She almost got run over as we got in. Basically, if you're on the bus and a wheelchair gets on, the wheelchair bay is that size because the wheelchair needs that amount of space to turn so please do move out of the bay so there aren't any awkward hit and runs.

I was really excited to go shopping with Mum. I really genuinely enjoy clothes shopping – talk about retail therapy – not that I really ever have the money but hey I needed a new wardrobe because al my clothes are up in Manchester. H&M was the first shop and I'm glad not that last because it was awful. Crowded with narrow aisles to get to the clothes and actually a fashion that I wasn't into anyway, I pretty much had a meltdown/ panic attack. Because it was all so crowded with clothes, I couldn't really self-propel myself around and see the clothes I wanted to and, I don't know, it all just became too overwhelming. We left quite quickly and I had a bit of a moment with Mum outside and went and bought some makeup, the essentials in life, to cheer myself up.

New Look on the other hand was a completely different kettle of fish. It was just a lot more spacious and I could look around and pick up the clothes that I liked. I tried on a selection of clothes that I could wear in the physio gym and then also for going out with friends. It actually fun trying them all on with Mum and then actually having some tops to have for the rest of the week. I was also impressed with the accessible changing room which is something I've never thought about before all this happened.

The E2 home wasn't that bad but the bay is probably a little too small for standard wheelchairs let alone the larger wheelchair I had. When we got home, the ramp was already out and Dad was at the top ith a smile on his face – Watford must have done well and they had or something! Otherwise the rest of the night was uneventful.