The Blurred Line

Day 31 - home!

Today was understandably a bit of a whirlwind as we got ready to go home. Bits of the day went really slowly, waiting around, whereas other bits were so rushed I felt like I'd been whipped up in a tornado I couldn't stop. Mum came early and left Susanna and Dad getting the last bits ready – I ind of needed her today. I was really glad Stephanie was working on my last day. She probably wasn't but I was grateful to say good bye as, like Alma and Natalie who were also working that day, she'd looked after me probably the most.

Before I had breakfast, mum made me write out cards for the plastics team, orthopaedics team (me and mum had a debate how to spell orthopaedics but turns out with spell check that I was right!), the ward team, the occupational therapists and the young lady who was opposite me. It took ages as I wanted to write quite a long message to them each and a pharmacy assistant approached me later who didn't actually know me but said he was really touched by the message in one of them which was really lovely to hear. I just told them that they had given me the opportunity to live an extraordinary life and that I would be back to visit next year but they wouldn't recognise me with my two perfect legs. I had ward round for the last time – first plastics came and then orthopaedics and I got to give them their cards and chocolates.

We hung around sort of waiting for the vascular team before going for a shower and of course Lindsey came whilst we were in the shower! Sod's law! The shower wasn't that hot either because we were having it later than usual. So to bear in mind: if you're staying in hospital, have a shower earlier just like a school/ hiking club trip!

There was much joy and relief as Lindsey said her lovingly placed PICC line could be removed as I was on oral, rather than iv, antibiotics. I hadn't managed to get the line wet though with the shower- a minor success! The removal was really quick and painless and afterwards I showed Lindsey the view from the ward, pointing out the Albert War Memorial, the BT tower, the Shard, etc whilst the doctors were in her way to get out. She was effectively trapped with me poor love!

I hung around waiting for patient transport and my medication with the young lad I needed to see not that far off my mind but his mum and I kept missing each other with texts. Alma came over and we had a tearful but happy sort of goodbye and she said that she was proud of me and my positivity. However, an old busy body, who was visiting a patient who's I'd had a long chat with the night before and always waved at, decided to stick her rather long nose into our little chat. She came over and I thought she was going to give me words I can't quite remember what she said but she implied that I was reckless, inexperienced and didn't know what I was doing because I was between 18 and 25 after she asked what my age was. She wondered off as I tried to fight back angry tears ad explain that I was experienced and that it was an accident. Alma, who was just as shocked as me but also really embarrassed, hugged me and comforted me. Mum came up quite quickly and said that we could go for a walk and I was quite glad as I didn't have to cry in front of the mean lady.

We went to the small day room and I just cried it out – again. Mum was trying to explain to me that she was oddly trying to sympathise with her and Alma but wasn't treating me like I was my own individual person. I have to be honest and say that I wasn't at my most empathetic and understanding at that time. I did not have many pretty words for her. Thankfully, nobody was able to hear the profanities being spouted about her. When we came back into the ward, I didn't talk to her and couldn't bear to see her, I think understandably – and especially since she was sitting so close, so I asked Mum to draw the curtain that cut them off from us. I think that made my feelings perfectly clear. Thankfully, the lady she was visiting was moved the rehab ward anyway.

Briefly I got to see Nina and gave her the card and chocolates. It really cheered me up as well and I got to say yet again how grateful I was to her that I could go home. To me, she has been the face of the team who has worked tirelessly to get me home which has been fantastic.