love you so bad (discontinued) | vsoo

17 | playing with fire

Jisoo ran her hand through her hair, her thoughts still stuck on her meeting with the head of the agency. Despite her mission's objective being an inevitable part of her future to carry out, she still couldn't contemplate it; it felt too surreal, as if she was watching herself following the protocols rather than doing them herself.

Who knew that Jisoo's first encounter with a famous idol would end in tragedy carried out by her own hands. She couldn't help but wonder if in an alternate universe, her fate could've been different– if she wasn't bound to the agency whom she owed her life to, if she could've lived a normal life away from deception.

As Jisoo stepped foot out of the suffocating room as she swam in her thoughts, she was met face-to-face with a guilty-looking Lisa.

"Uh, hey unnie! It's weird seeing you here," she nervously chuckled as she offered a wave.

"Lisa," Jisoo groaned, resting her face on her hands, "of course you'd be eavesdropping."

"Bold of you to assume I was eavesdropping. What if I actually have some important business to do on this floor?" the agent scoffed as she crossed her arms defensively.

"Yah, aren't you supposed to be trained in stealth?" Jisoo ignored the latter's attempted refutal as she grabbed Lisa's arm and began walking back towards the agency's dorms.

"Aren't you supposed to be nicer to your dongsaengs?" Lisa fired back with a pout, giving into the elder's push towards the elevators.

"I'm an assassin, I don't think 'being nice' is in my job description," Jisoo childishly stuck her tongue out as Lisa rolled her eyes with a smile.

The ride down the elevators was silent, much to Jisoo's pleasure until Lisa began to clear her throat, a sign that she was about to cross into uncomfortable territory.

"So, what's with this mission I've been hearing about. It seems like quite the important one from what I've gathered so far," she spoke quietly so as to not aggravate the elder.

"Has Jennie or Chaeyoung told you anything?" Jisoo asked back, giving into the younger's questions.

After all, her and the others were the closest to family she had under the agency's harshness.

"They told me the basics, about the idol and the result of the first mission, but they held off on the personal details out of respect. They told me to hear it from you personally so it wasn't carelessly passed around like gossip."

"Mm," Jisoo nodded, thankful for the trust circulating within their small circle. "It's just... a lot to handle, and so many things are happening at once– I feel like I'm drowning."

The elevator dinged as they reached the first floor, the two walking silently side by side so as not to draw unwanted attention to themselves as they crossed towards they connected dorm building.

"Aren't you used to these tasks though, unnie?" Lisa asked once they successfully entered the private space of the dorm building, no one out in the shared lobby to eavesdrop into their conversation. "You've made a name for yourself from taking this daunting million-dollar missions. I never expected you to feel this way."

Jisoo paused the conversation as she led her coagent towards the dormitory elevators, pressing the button for the sixth floor before letting out a sigh. The ride up was filled with tension, as Jisoo took her time collecting her thoughts before replying to Lisa's statement.

It was true, and the fact upset her greatly. She worked her ass off, focusing every fiber of her being towards steeling herself off from human emotions in an attempt to seal off her childhood from her consciousness. She built icy cold walls around herself, negating herself into a point of mindless killing, but it only took one mission to thaw her out. Jisoo opened the door of her room defeatedly, finally accepting the reality of her situation.

"I don't know who I am anymore."

"Hm?" Lisa asked confused though concerned, as she sat on the edge of the female's bed.

"Yes, I've killed too many people to count in cold blood. Yes, I just killed someone the day before. Yet, something about this–" Jisoo cut herself off in order to gather her thoughts for what she was going to say next. "Have they told you the specifics of my mission?"

"No..." Lisa paused, giving Jisoo a concerned look. She had been out on a mission the month prior, staying in her home country with a group of other agents for a carefully crafted assassination of an influential CEO of reputable Thai brand who had wrongfully crossed the agency. "Is something different about it?"

Jisoo let out a deep breath as she lied back on her bed, Lisa repeating the motion.

"I have to make him fall in love with me," she blurted out quickly, jumbling her words together in one breath.

"What?"

"I– me, Jisoo– I have to make him fall in love with me."

The words sounded foreign to her despite coming out of her own mouth, her mind not fully accepting the fact.

"Fall in love? As in seduce?" Lisa asked with a twinge of confusion laced her her question. "Isn't that like your specialty? Is it because he's an idol?"

"No," Jisoo laughed bitterly, wishing it was that easy. "Fall in love, as in make him love me, as in take his heart."

Lisa failed to say anything back for a few seconds, prompting Jisoo to look at her across the bed. She was met with Lisa's face scrunched up in bewilderment.

"But why? We aren't some dating agency. What's the point?"

Lisa clearly hadn't connect the pieces together if her expression said anything. Jisoo licked her cracked lips, pushing her face deeper in her mattress to seek more comfort.

"Whoever the client is wants to make him suffer, Lisa. Why would someone want to make him fall in love if not to revel in the satisfaction of him getting his heart broken before having his life taken? It's that feeling of betrayal and absolute defeat that the client wants, not the romance."

Lisa's whistled as the resolution finally came to her.

"Shit, even I couldn't do that to someone and I kill people for a living."

"Yeah," Jisoo huffed, closing her eyes, "me too."

But I have to.

I'm going to.