Habits Of My Heart

Chapter 21

Adrian sat next to Mason in physics, the one class he didn't have with Bailey, tapping his pencil restlessly against the table, sighing loudly.

He sighed for what must have been the third or fourth time and Mason shut the physics book and looked at him, "What-" he began, a little annoyed, "is it that has you sighing si much?"

Adrian's eyes went up and met
Mason's, and he banged his head against the table.

"I'm so stupid." he said, his voice muffled.

"What is it this time?" Mason asked.

Adrian lifted his head slightly, peeking at Mason before he sat up and leaned closer to him, keeping his voice down.

"I think I'm going mad." he said, and Mason gave him a weird look before he smiled.

"Bailey?" he asked, and Adrian nodded. Mason laughed, "Nah, you're not going mad, you're falling."

"I'm falling?" Adrian said, confused and Mason smirked, putting his mouth to Adrian's ear, whispering.

"For Bailey."

Adrian pushed Mason away, blushing, "Shut up! Am not!"

Mason gave him the 'really?' look and he bit his lip.

"Okay maybe a little! But still, I don't-" he groaned, "I don't know."

"What are you scared of? People judging you?"

"Yes?" Adrian said, and Mason frowned at him, "Okay, sorry! But I'm the freaking captain of the football team, I'm a favourite student of some of the teachers, I- I'm supposed to be this cool guy." he ended with his voice low, so nobody else would hear, "And... And what about Samantha?"

"I hate to break it to you, Adrian, but she's been sleeping with Blake for at least two weeks now." Mason said, stating fact.

Adrian winced, ouch okay, it wasn't like he really had feelings for her but okay, he thought he at least has a chance. He did have a chance, he just didn't go for it and now he lost it.

"Fine, forget about her then, she's out of the picture. Still!" he exclaimed softly.

"Adrian. Are you hearing yourself? Your the fucking captain of the football team. You're the cool guy. You think that'll change if people find out? Well- okay, maybe. But what if it doesn't? Isn't that worth the risk if you get to be with h- be happy?" Mason quickly covered up, in case someone could hear, "Adrian, you can do whatever you want. People love you, most of them will no matter what."

Adrian looked at him unsurely, "Yeah. Maybe. I just- whenever we end up talking about something serious like, like the kiss, whatever it was, then I panic! And my mouth starts spewing words and I can't control it. And I end up sounding like some kind of- of..." he hesitated, looking for the right word, his hands making frantic gestures, "Some kind of fuckboy!"

"Well think before you speak." Mason said simply.

"It's not that easy." Adrian said, "I want to show him I care but it's like I want to hide my true feelings."

"You're fucking dumb." Mason said, "If you don't do something about it, eventually it'll be too late."

"Oh god, I know." Adrian said, "Okay, you know what? I'll figure something out."

Mason looked at him unsurely, and Adrian shook his head in frustration, "What? Don't doubt me!"

Mason's expression turned more serious, "Adrian, he's a really good guy. And he looks like he really cares for you, and I can see how much you care for him. Whatever you do, don't fuck his up."