Habits Of My Heart

Chapter 22

Adrian sat on his bed, his legs crossed, a pillow clutched to his chest. He sat across from Bailey, who was listening closely to everything he had to say.

"The more I think about it, the less I understand how I didn't realise I was into guys." he said, "I mean, I took it for granted that I have to like girls, and I did, I still do. I just never thought of men sexually because I felt like I wasn't supposed to. But I have, obviously, checked out guys, like all the time. I think I had a bit of a crush on Mason at some point, I always wanted to be with him, if he wasn't around me I'd think about being with him. I thought it was because we were best friends."

Bailey smiled fondly, still not believing this was happening.

Adrian chuckled, "But then you came around and changed my life. I felt an urge to protect you, I feel a little fire in my chest when I hold you- it sounds cheesy but it's true. All the cliché, cheesy things just happened."

Bailey giggled, speechless.

"I think destiny brought you here, I know it." Adrian said.

"To you." Bailey said softly, and Adrian nodded, reaching out to hold his hand.

"I don't know what comes next, what we'll do, but whatever it is, we can't go public." he said, his tone serious.

Bailey nodded, understanding, "Only when you're comfortable."

"It's just, Tristan came out, he was so confident, I admired him. But everyone hated him, he was kicked off the team, he was pushed out of his friend group, labelled the weird kid." Adrian said.

"Yeah, that's what pushed him to go out, drink, and sleep with guys, older ones. He had some regulars too." Bailey said, remembering even Tristan had told him everything.

Adrian hummed, "And then when he had come to school limping, hissed in pain when he sat down, they called him a slut. And he didn't care, at least he didn't show that he did. He held his head up high and said yes, he does like dick up his ass." Adrian laughed slightly at the memory, "I admired him even more."

"He was terrified too, you know." Bailey said, "He didn't show it, but he told me he was. And it's okay to show it, it doesn't make you weak. If you're scared and you face your fear like he did, like you did by telling me and Mason, it makes you strong, it makes you brave. Hiding away is what makes you weak."

Adrian smiled at him, "What a wise man you are." he said, "You're the strongest person I know. You went out there after everything that happened, I know that if I were in your situation, I would've thought of just taking my own life. Specially before your father died, you kept on surviving."

"I had no choice, my father would force food down my throat, not a lot of it though, just enough for me to do squats and hip bridges because men like bubble butts." Bailey said blankly, "Sorry, yes, I had to keep fighting."

"Thanks to you Tristan is back on the football team." Adrian said.

Bailey's eyebrows furrowed, "But you did that."

"I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for you." Adrian said, "You did what hardly anyone had been able to do; you broke the protective barrier I've had around me for years. You let yourself in. I admire you for so many things, Bailey."

Bailey blushed, "I admire you too."

Adrian stood up grinning, "What do you say I take you out for a date?"

"What?!" Bailey exclaimed, taken aback.

Adrian nodded, "Not like a couple." he said, "Like we're friends who care a lot about each other and don't know what to do next. And might make out, I don't know."