Habits Of My Heart

Chapter 23

"Oh it was amazing, Tristan!" Bailey said, eating waffles in Tristan's dorm room that he had gotten from the kitchen, as Tristan smiled fondly at him, "He's so caring and sweet, he's so cute and hot and loving."

Tristan chuckled, crinkles forming around his eyes, "You're adorable." he said, "You're so in love it's uncanny. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't see this coming."

"What do you mean?" Bailey asked, his eyebrows pulling towards each other a little in confusion.

"Well, Adrian, he's- oof" he exhaled, fanning his face with his hand, "He's like next level hot, you know. And it's hard to not love you in some sort of way. It was destiny that you ended up being his roommate, you helped him find himself and he helped you find a place here. I kind of figured that you two falling for each other was inevitable. But then again, I'm always thinking about guys getting together so..." he shrugged.

Bailey scoffed, not knowing what to make of that, a smile growing on his face, "shut up." he said shyly.

"No, I mean it!" Tristan said, and Bailey blushed, looking down. "You seem happy now, I bet he is too."

Bailey nodded, "He seems so. We are happy. I actually didn't expect this at all, and I'm really nervous. I've never been in a relationship."

"He's probably nervous too." Tristan said, finishing another waffle, "He's never been with a guy, it's different, you know."

"Yeah... I think he is." Bailey bit his lip, "But I don't know if that's reassuring or just a little scary, since neither of us is experienced."

"No! It's fun discovering how it works together." Tristan said, grinning, "Oh you guys will be great, I have a good feeling about this."

"I thought it was really strange that I couldn't sleep well without him there, but there's something about having him hold me as I sleep, his body so close to mine, that just relaxes me. Maybe his scent too." Bailey said softly, a little in thought, slowly picking up his second waffle.

"That's so cute!" Tristan groaned dramatically, "When will I find love?"

"Oh you will!" Bailey exclaimed, "You're, like, smoking hot and your personality is amazing! You'll find love easy peasy!"

Tristan sighed, "Maybe, but I'm so fucked up." Bailey furrowed his eyebrows, "Like I mean, really, I went to sleep with older guys just because I was impulsive and depression was really hitting me. I'm messed up."

"Tristan, everyone is messed up." Bailey said, "Look at me! I'm so... Dirty, tainted, disgusting, slutty-"

"Shut the fuck up."

"You know I am! It's completely true. And it's not my fault. What happened to you, what you did, isn't your fault. And people realise that." Bailey said, "I was lucky that I found Adrian, who accepted me for who I am, what I am, and loved me and all my flaws."

"Yeah you're pretty lucky. Most guys are assholes." Tristan groaned.

"Yes. That is one hundred percent true." Bailey said, "But hey, there are good guys out there and you're like 17 you don't need to find "the one", relax."

Tristan hummed. He knew Bailey was right. Most of the time he didn't care either but sometimes he felt like nobody would ever love him. He felt like there was no hope for a weirdo like him, sometimes he felt like a psychopath for what he felt and the things he said. He fell into depression more often than he liked, and that made him want to risk it all, made him not care, made him go out and sleep with random guys because he could.

But he hadn't felt that way since he met Bailey, since he finally got a friend, finally got accepted.

Adrian walked back into the locker room after practice, feeling cheerful. He'd woken up in Ben's arms and the two had gotten up, even earlier than they had to. They had gone down to get the waffles before everyone else did and Adrian had met Mason and Blake while Bailey went to Tristan's room, taking food for him. On top of that he'd had a pretty good practice session.