Habits Of My Heart

Chapter 37

It was about time, Adrian felt, that they went to the police. It was a difficult case to make; a boy who had been raped. Often rape cases were dismissed — there was usually no evidence, nobody to confirm what the victim was claiming was actually true — and it was even worse when boys are the victims. “stuff like this doesn't happen to boys” “they wouldn't do it unless you looked feminine anyway” Adrian had braced himself for the worst, and had told Bailey to as well.

It was a big day for Bailey. He would finally accuse Tyson of all he'd done. The lingering feeling the it wouldn't do any good and would only make things worse sat behind all his other thoughts, sat like a weight on his chest, making his breathing strained. Adrian had taken him down to the police station, had them both practice what they would say and how (two times, no less), just so that things could go as smoothly as possible. And then, throughout the taxi ride on the way there, he'd held his hand and told him it would be okay, that he would get justice if there were any good in the world.

Naturally, they had both forgotten most of what they practiced but remembered the gist of it. “Uh, yes, er, hello, my name is Bailey.” and “Right, yes, he's here to file a case— an accusation— for uh, sexual assault.” “Yes, uh, rape to be exact.” Was how it went, rather than the smooth-sailing, eloquent way they'd practiced.

The police officer looked between the two of them, as if trying to figure out the dynamic between the two. Where they friends, best friends? But no, they had to be closer than that, perhaps they were related; cousins, maybe step siblings, possibly half siblings. Finally, he said, “What did you say your name was again? Bailey?” Bailey nodded. “B-A-I-L-E-Y?” the officer asked, and wrote it down once Bailey had nodded again, “I'll need a last name too.” Bailey answered, and the officer said, “And you're male, yes?”

“Uh, yes, biologically and uh the other way.” Bailey answered awkwardly, causing Adrian to have to hide a smile.

“Right.” the officer said, writing down a few more things on his document, “So you're filing a rape accusation. And who is the rapist? I'll need the full name or else a description.”

“See i-it's complicated, I guess, because there were” Bailey hesitated, “There were many... Both times. But there was one guy responsible for it happening, also both times. It was the same guy.”

“Do you want to give me all the names or only his?” the officer asked, and it surprised Adrian how seriously he was taking it — a pleasant surprise. They must have gotten lucky, or maybe the officer was just pretending to take it seriously for his reputation.

Bailey looked at the officer, his mouth slightly open as though he were going to speak. “I—” his voice cracked with uncertainty and the trauma of remembering it all “I don't know all their names. If I'm completely honest, I don't think I even remember all of their faces.”

Adrian gulped, trying to imagine how Bailey felt. He wanted to speak, but let Bailey handle it.

“The guy's name is Tyson. He drugged me once, and then... Tricked me the next time.” Bailey said, nervously chewing his bottom lip.

The officer noted down some things, nodding, “Okay, two more things, I'll need his full name and some evidence.”

Adrian and Bailey shared a nervous glance. There it was, the question they were dreading. Neither Adrian nor Bailey knew Tyson's full name, but gave a full description and told him which school he went to. Adrian then went on to explain that there was no evidence, how could there be?

“I understand.” the officer said, “But I'm sorry, there's not much I can do without any evidence. Any eye-witnesses? You said there a group, maybe one of them is feeling guilty.”

“I don't know anyone who was there!” Bailey exclaimed, frustrated, now near tears, “The first time there were so many people at the party, I didn't even see how came in and went out, and then I passed out! The second time it was just random people!”

“Right.” the officer clicked his pen a couple of times, thinking. Then he said, “If it was a party, there's must be someone who saw what was happening and wasn't a part of it who is willing to help.”

“I was there.” Adrian said, annoyed, grabbing Bailey's wrist reassuringly “Aren't I enough? I'm an eye witness, I can testify.”

The officer eyed Adrian suspiciously, looking as though he had little to no interest in helping them. He put his pen between his teeth for a second, staring at the pair of boys, making them uncomfortable. Then he took the pen out and said:

“You two are queers, aren't you?”

Adrian seemed taken aback, Bailey less so. He rolled his eyes, his vision blurring with tears.

“I- I- uh” Adrian stammered, feeling even more uncomfortable at that point, “I don't exactly— I don't see how that has anything to do with this.”

“I'm just thinking, if this one is a little faggot anyway, what do you care about a few guys using you? Isn't that what you want anyway?” the officer said menacingly.

Adrian took a step back, eyes wide, his blood boiling with rage. He took a deep breath, clenched his fist and then took a step closer to the officer.

“Listen here, you foul little—” he had his finger pointing accusingly at the man across him, his face contorted with anger and his other hand ready to grab the officers collar, but Bailey grabbed it.

“Adrian please stop.” he whispered, hot tears tumbling down his cheeks, “It's not worth it, we'll try to go somewhere else.”

“Bailey, he's a police officer!” Adrian exclaimed, not in the least trying to hide how furious he was, “He's supposed to do his job not go around calling people the f word and making people feel worthless!” he was practically shouting at this point, and everyone in the police station was staring at them. He looked around him, feeling everyone's gaze. Normally he would feel awkward but at that moment he felt quite the opposite. “Do better” he said, not to anyone in particular, before grabbing Bailey's wrist and walking out.