love in my lyrics (jongtae fanfic)

Being ripped apart

Jonghyun p.o.v

"Hey jjong!" My mother sung down the phone. "Mum?" I asked. "Yep that me!" She said. "Why are you calling me?" I asked confused. "Because I have great news!" She shouted excitedly. "And what's that?" I asked. "Your moving to America and becoming a famous composer!" She screeched excitedly. "What?" I said dread filling my stomach.

"Yep your going to be someone great and it's all thanks to your amazing mum" she said.

Yeah amazing she hasn't called me in 3 years. "When did this happen?" I asked. "Well at them moment I am going out with a CEO from a music company and I told him about you and showed him so of your music and just like that you were hired" he said. She really did like to use the word 'and' "and what? How am I going to get there I have no money for a plane ticket" i said. "it's okay I have already transferred money into your bank account so you can leave as soon as possible" she said.

"Mum I need to call you back I'm a little busy right now" I said. Sung down the phone "okay bye bye " and like that the line went dead.

Oh god what was I going to do? Which one do I pick taemin or my dream. Scratch that taemin is my dream!

Dialing taemins number I called he answered quickly "hey" he said. "Hey I know this is going to sound rushed but do you want to get an apartment together?" I said quickly. "Sure" he said. "Wow I thought that was going to be harder" i laughed. "It seems so" he said. 1

Taemin seemed so uninterested that it damped my mood more.

"Hey I'm outside" i said on the phone. My car seemed extremely empty and dull... to be honest everything felt dull. The way the rain rand down my car, the way the grey sky appeared so quickly. "Watcha looking a?" Taemin asked leaning over me. I cleared my throat "nothing, shall we go?" I asked. Taemin nodded.

Driving I thought about how I was going to tell him. "Hey taemin I'm moving to America come with me?" I shook my head at this thought he is just starting school how could I do that to him. Taemin.....

Looking at taemin he looked back at me his eyes sparkling and my heart thumped.

"Taemin... I..." my words trailing off. "What is it?" He asked. "I love you" i said. He smiled "i love you too". "I love you more though" i smiled. "I'm sure you do" he smiled mischievously.

"So what's your apartment style?" I asked and be smiled. "Enough room for everyone but not too big that I feel lonely" he smiled. "You won't be alone I won't let you" I said holding his hand. "I know" he said squeezing my hand.

"Just a question but how willing are you to go where I go?" I asked. He just smiled "i would follow you as far as I could".

My heart ached. "So a two bedroom?" I suggested. He nodded "yeah one big enough to fit a big bed for the others" he smiled. "You love you hyungs don't you" I pouted. "Not as much as I love you" he smiled lightly kissing my cheek. My heart skipping a beat I looked at him and he smiled and kissed me on the lips "i would never do that with anyone but you".

Feeling myself slowly loosing control I smiled like an idiot and continued to drive. Everything felt like a blur I was completely distracted by his love.

"Um jjong?" Taemin said tapping me "I think we should get this apartment what do you think?"he smiled.

Blinking I looked around, "how the hell did we get here ?" I thought to myself.

I nodded and wrapped my arm around him "it's perfect" I said taking a deep breath as I looked at the apartment. We got a disgusted look from the apartment sales man as I hugged him.

He cleared his throat "well then it's decided you can move in today at 3 o'clock "he said passing us the keys and I passed him the money and signed the contract.

He left us alone and I stood there looking at taemin "well we have about 3 hours to wait before we can officially move in do you want to go furniture shopping?". His eyes lit up and he grabbed my hand pulling me out the door. I tried to stop him "stop we need to put our shoes on" i said and he looked at his feet laughing he walked back in.

Once our shoes were on he continued to walk to the car. "hey tae you okay? You haven't spoken much since this morning" he smiled and nodded putting a thumbs up. "Lost your voice?" I said and he nodded in agreement.

We bought all the essentials and agreed upon meeting at the apartment at 10 o'clock tomorrow. Taemin said goodbye the way he always did... he didn't he just smiled, hugged me tightly and left like a fleeting dream.

Taemin p.o.v

walking quickly I tried to out run the tears. The words minho told me of jonghyun leaving for America and how we had just bought an apartment... it seemed like everything was the complete opposite.

I searched for my key and it wasn't there. Sighing I leaned against the door. I ruffled my hair in frustration and leaned against the door. My tears escaping my eyes I sobbed heavily into my hands.

What was I suppose to do?

Am i suppose to smile and say I will wait for him and that his happiness should be what's most important?

Or maybe I should say what I really feel. I love everyone and it would break my heart to leave them but I would follow jjong anywhere and I would go but I wouldn't want to leave the others

I'm so selfish... I'm just caring about me and not jjong.

Why is my life set out for only me to suffer? Everything seems hopeless.

Key p.o.v

The shock I had when I saw taemin crying was heart breaking... because I knew it the reason behind his tears was jonghyun.

Clenching my fists in anger I walked up to him. Pulling him off the ground I hugged him tightly and he sobbed hard.

"I'm a selfish person" he sobbed. "Why would you think that?" He asked. "Because all I wanted was to love and be loved yet I can have neither" he sobbed. I held him tighter my anger boiling "today I stood there silent as even when I tried to speak my eyes would begin to water and my voice would become hitched. It hurt so bad that he was leaving me yet we were getting an apartment together" he cried clinging tighter.

"I'm guessing your locked out?" I asked and be nodded. Placing the key in his hand I told him I would go get something sweet for him and he went inside.

Anger boiling through me I stormed towards the car driving to jonghyuns places. Once there I banged on his door "kim jonghyun! You terrible person get out here!" I screamed. He opened the door "key what a-" "How dare you!" I screamed. His eyes wide in confusion "are you stupid? Or are you doing this for fun?" I screamed. "Doing what?" He asked. "Making him cry! Making him feel like the bad guy! Making me want to kill you!" I shouted grabbing his collar and pushing him into the apartment. He looked at me "I.. made him cry?" His voice quiet.

I laughed sarcastically "like you didn't know. He knows all about you leaving for America! and what do you do? You take him apartment shopping? It's like you want to hurt him even more! You ignorant pig!". I went to slap him and he pushed his face forward as so I could.

"Hit me... I'm a terrible person... I'm selfish I break his heart but I want it. I go apartment shopping so we can be together but we aren't going to be together. I want to be a composer which means I have to leave but I want to stay with him and be happy. I want him to go with me but how am I suppose to take him away from you all?" Jonghyun said tears filling his eyes. "I want so much yet I can't have any and I can't chose" he said.

"So hit me! Maybe then I might have some sense!" He said. I let go of him and stepped back "hitting you would solve nothing" i said. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "Make your mind up just please stop hurting him or I really will kill you " i warned.

I started to walk away and he shouted to me "tell him I'm sorry" he said and followed me to the door. I turned around and he shut the door before I could even ask what he meant.