love in my lyrics (jongtae fanfic)

Are you okay ?

Walking home with them. Laughing with them. Was this what I had dreamed of my whole life?

Waking up in the mornings became easier and smiling became a habit, not a chore. Dad sat in the kitchen reading his newspaper while he ate his breakfast. Dad would look at me with curious eyes as to why I smiled more but he would never ask. I would nod and eat breakfast. We never really spoke as we use to now we only exchange nods at the dining table or when we pass each other.

My dad was my hero and unfortunately, he didn't see it like that but instead thought I hated him. Letting him believe what he wanted was just to make things easier for him after all I loved my dad, it's just he didn't love me.

Once breakfast was done I nodded to my dad and I walked to school. I had woken up early today so I could get a haircut maybe today was the day I was going to make a change. With my phone, I took a picture of myself so I could later look at the comparison of who I was before and after. Walking up to the barbers I saw Jonghyun and he was talking to another man. My heart burned and ached yet I didn't know why.

I walked slower than usually hoping the man would leave but they just kept on chatting until Jonghyun saw me. He smiled and gestured for me to approach them.  Hesitantly I walked toward them. Jonghyun put an arm around me and whispered in my ear "play along". I nodded in agreement. Jonghyun turned towards the man "sorry but as you see I am taken this is my loving caring boyfriend I was about" he turned towards me with a smile that looked so forced yet so natural, he nudged me and I smiled back.

Realising the nudge was my cue to say something; I looked at him imagining my cousin when she was on the phone with her boyfriend "honey who is this man? Don't tell me you are cheating on me?" I said sounding as caring and worried as possible. "No honey this man was trying to take me away from you," he said pinching my cheeks. He continued "but that's not going to happen because I love you the most" he laughed.  The man's face contorted into anger and he stormed off. I sighed in relief.

Jonghyun slapped my back "thanks that sure as hell was awkward". I laughed "yeah it was". He looked at me "oh by the way what are you doing here?" Jonghyun asked. I smiled "I'm going to get my hair cut want to help me?" Jonghyun grabbed my hand pulling me into the barber. I sat nervously in the seat waiting for the barber. A man walked out he smiled at me and started tugging at my hair almost examining it. He smiled "okay basically we are going to give you a completely new look which will make the ladies fall at your feet" he smiled. I laughed nervously.

After the barber was done I looked in the mirror I looked completely different my hair was going to one side yet it looked like I had just got out of bed. Jonghyun looked at me with wide eyes and I smiled.

Maybe this look was what I needed to start again. To regain the confidence I had lost so long ago. I looked at Jonghyun again and he was smiling so bright it was almost contagious.

Then I felt my heart race yet again, but why? Why would it race so quickly just because he looked at me?

New author note: 3 chapters down and honestly just reading this makes me smile. I've made only slight changes. I wonder if you could even tell the difference.