far too young to die // ryden //

- lovely -

brendon's pov

"I love you." I whispered.
"Brendon Boyd Urie, I love you too. Always have, I've never stopped. I sat in bed every night, crying, looking at all the old pictures of us. When I saw that you were engaged to Sarah, I was hurt. I was sobbing non-stop. I wanted to get married to you. I was happy for you, I had to be. You looked so happy, more than when you were with me but I get it. I left, I hurt you, I did everything wrong. You found someone that made you smile, which I didn't do. You deserve to be happy, B. Don't let me ruin it for you." He stood up.
"Ryan, p-please don't leave me again. I need you.." I whimpered, looking up at him. I started shaking and sobbing.
"P-please, R-ry."
He sat down again and frantically tried to calm me down.
"Everything will be okay, I promise." he calmly whispered as he kissed my head.
"Brendon, I'm not leaving. I love you." He softly said.
"It's n-not the s-same an-anymore. We've grown out of love. I'm so tired of promising myself that I won't fall in love with you again. I've been trying so hard not to but I failed."  I lied on the floor staring at the ceiling.
Ryan stayed silent for a while until he mumbled, "I promised myself too."
"I'm sorry." I sobbed.
"About what?" He questioned.
"About making you hate me, making you leave, coming back to you, ruining your life." I said.
He grabbed me by my shoulders and looked me in my eyes. "No, I'm sorry. God, Brendon, it was my decision to leave. It was my decision for us to hang out. Just stop blaming yourself. You are the best thing that has happened to me in my life. I need you, I love you so much."