far too young to die // ryden //

- all i want -

I woke up to my phone buzzing.

Ryan ❤: i hat uuuú
Brendon: what??
Ryan ❤: i fukin hat u
Brendon: are you drunk?
Ryan ❤: ya hhhah
Brendon: I'm coming to get you

I got out of bed and practically ran out of the door to my car. I knew exactly where he was. The only bar him and I went to together.
I drove to it and surprise, surprise, Ryan was sitting on the floor.
I pulled him into the car and quickly drove to his house.
He ran in and I strolled in after him.
"Get out, Brendon." He slurred.
"No."
"I don't fucking love you. Don't you get it?" He said, slurring less.
"No, you don't mean that." I panicked.
"Of course, I do. This is all you fucking fault."
"Ryan, you were the one who cheated TWICE."
"I did it because I don't love you, I can't. Everything you say is so depressing. I can't be with someone like you."
"No, No, No. Please, Ryan. I'll try harder. Please."
"Leave."
"Fuck you, Ryan. You fucking liar. I shouldn't have trusted you or loved you in the fucking first place." I walked out the door.
I ran to my car and drove home in the rain. I just wanted to die.
I stumbled into my house and ran upstairs. I took the polaroids of Ryan and I and looked at them for one last time. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note for Ryan.

I loved you. I cared about you but I guess it was a one-sided love, like always.
Look at these polaroids, were you pretending to be happy around me then?
I know I failed you, I'm just a fucking mess. Ryan, if you find me, I loved you till the moment I took my last breath.
love,
brendon boyd urie.

I placed the note on the floor next to me and grabbed my pills.
10 would be enough, right?
I poured 10 into my hand and swallowed them all at once. I took a polaroid of Ryan and kissed it.
I felt my eyelids become heavy as everything went black.