far too young to die // ryden //

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Ryan's pov:

I knew I fucked up. I hurt the only person who cared about me.
I ran to his house, sobbing my eyes out. As I opened the door, I frantically ran to the bathroom. The sound of silence is deafening.
"NO NO NO,  PLEASE BABY BE ALIVE."
"I LOVE YOU. DONT LET GO."
I shook his lifeless body and called 911.
They came immediately and took him away, while I was still crying.

I sat in the hospital for 6 hours, shaking rapidly, not being able to talk. I couldn't lose him, he was my everything. I loved him. He was the one who stayed up all night to make sure I was happy. He was the one who spammed me with memes to make me laugh. He was the one I loved. I wanted to spend my whole life with him. I wanted to propose.

"Mr Ross, Brendon is alive."
I calmed down after the doctor said that.
"But be gentle."
I got up slowly and walked to his room.
He looked so sad and broken.
"I'm sorry, Bren."
"Not your fault."
"It really is. I lashed out at you for no fucking reason."
"Ryan, did you mean what you said?"
"Brenny, no. Of course not. I love you with my whole heart."
"It didn't seem like it earlier. It seemed like y-you wanted me d-dead." he started sobbing.
"Bren, I would never want you dead. I'm just a bi-polar prick."
"Ry, I love y-" I cut him off with a kiss. I cupped his head in my hands.
"I love you too." I replied.
"You cut me off, you asshole." He giggled.
"I knew what you were gonna say." I shrugged.
"What if I was gonna say that I love your dick or some shit?"
"I would still say I love you because it's true."
"Why do you even talk to me?" He looked down.
"Bren, I talk to you because I love hearing your voice, your giggles, your love. You somehow make even the most depressed person happy just by simply smiling. Every single action you do brightens my day. I love you, Brendon. I always have." I brushed my fingers through his hair.
"Ryro, I love you too."
"Beeeebooo!"
"No, not that nickname!"
"You called me Ryro." I smirked.
"Ok, you can call me Beebo, it's settled."
"Love you, Beebo."
"Love you more, Ryro."
"We all know that I love you more."
"Ha, funny. You cheated on me twice and you would fuck anything that moves. Great love, Ryan. Really fucking great." He looked down again.
"I-"
"You don't want me. I don't need you. I loved you, Ryan, I really did. Just get away from me, you prick." He pointed at the door.
I walked out without saying anything. I didn't have to; what he said was true. Too fucking true.
He was too good for me, he didn't need me but I needed him. My body yearned for his affection. I missed his kiss, his hands around me.
I was standing crying until my phone buzzed.

Spin 🥁: Hey, Ry! We haven't talked in a while. Wanna hang out?
Ross 🎸: yeah sure
Spin 🥁: where are you?
Ross 🎸: the hospital
Spin 🥁: why???
Ross 🎸: I'll tell you later, see you later, Spencer.
Spin 🥁: Cya :)

I walked out the door, practically smashing it. I was angry at myself, so fucking angry. I let myself ruin a relationship with the love of my fucking life.
I saw a car pull up and Spencer jumped out.
"Jesus, Ross. You look like shit."
"This is what I get for hurting someone I love with my whole fucking heart." I shrugged.
"Wait, what? Ryan, what the fuck did you do?"
"I uh- I saw Brendon on Halloween and we hung out after. Sarah cheated on him and then we confessed our feelings to each other. I stupidly cheated on him twice. The second time, he ended up in hospital because he swallowed some pills that he shouldn't have. He told me that he didn't need me and told me to leave. Now we are here." I whimpered.
"Fuck, Ryan. You are so fucking dumb. You know that he's broken and hurt over you leaving." He sighed.
"I know, I'm so fucking evil. God, I just need to die."
"No, Ryan. Stop being depressed over him. You don't need him. You are so much better."
"Spin, let's go. I don't wanna think about him."
"Okay, Ross."