Liberating Changes [Joavin]

instead I cry

Kevin POV

A week has gone by since the carnival and something's up with Joaquin. He's constantly saying sorry for the smallest mistakes or sometimes even nothing. He looks guilty every time he's around me and he looks scared to even touch me sometimes. I've tried to talk to him but all he says it that he's fine or that he's just having an off day but I can sense that it's something more.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Toni sits next to my on the student lounge couch,
"You, me, Joaquin and Cheryl are having a sleepover tomorrow night at Thistle house. You can tell Jo since he hasn't been answering any of our calls and we can't seem to find him anywhere." Toni flashes a smile at me before getting up and joining Cheryl. Now that Toni's mentioned it, Joaquin hasn't been replying to me either and I haven't seen him around. I start to panic more and quickly get up to look around for him. He's definitely in school since I saw him earlier but he didn't see me. I'm can't think of what corridor he walked don't. I think hard and suddenly, I remember. The art corridor. I run to it and see Joaquin in our art classroom, do something on a note pad and listening to music. He looks towards the door and I hide, not wanting to disturb him. When I'm sure he's looked away, I turn back to see him rip the page out of the book and hold it tightly in his hands.

ding ding ding

The school bell goes and I start heading to English, not wanting Joaquin to know about me spying. I smile softly just thinking about the boy. However, after class when I go back to me locker, a little note falls out. I reach down and open it.

'hi bear,
              I want to tell you something that I couldn't build up the courage to do in person. I think we should break up. I really don't want to but ever since the carnival, I've felt guilty for making you feel like you have to help me, for making you feel lost and panicked, for making you love me. That's why I've been distancing myself from you, I hoped it would hurt you less. I love you, I really do, more than everything and everyone combine. I would die for you but I just can't bear seeing you sad because of me. I hurt you and this may hurt too and I'm so so so sorry for that. But, it'll get better, I promise. You deserve so much better than me and you're definitely going to find someone, your soulmate. I know that's not me, you're too wonderful and perfect to be my soulmate and I'm not good enough to be yours.

Anyway, before I talk forever, I've got some good news. You're moving to Thistle house. The sleepover was meant to be a surprise to reveal it and you having to invite me was to throw off any suspicion. I didn't know if you were going to go after reading this, I'm not. I hope you enjoy it if you do go though

I should probably stop writing now, it was hard enough for me to write all of this. So, I hope you have a great life and that you find your true soulmate because you deserve it :)
                                            Love, Joaquin'

I can't help but burst out crying, in the middle of the hall. Toni and Cheryl run up to me and out of the corner of my eye, I see Joaquin run away, looking really guilty and heartbroken. I try to yell at him to come back and that I love him but I can't get the words out. I feel Cheryl's arm wrap around me and see Toni take the letter, reading it. She frowns after a while,
"I'm so sorry Kevin. You two were so perfect for eachother." Cheryl then snatches the letter off of her then reads it, frowning too.
"I'm sorry too." Before I know it, I'm yelling at them,
"Can you two just shut it? It's not your fault, it's mine and it's also none of your business."

I stand up and slam my locker shut, marching away from them and out of the school. I don't go home though, I don't want to go there. I just go to park to try to relax but, instead I cry