The Omission Behind Ones Devotion

Chapter 26

Hayden's POV:

Emptiness (noun) - the state of containing nothing.

Nothing. Nothing is what I feel as I lay on my bed arms draped around a pillow loosely. I was, I am too weak.

I should be angry, I should be screaming my head off. My throat should be burning from the internal fire of exasperation being released, but it's not. The piercing cry of my frustrated and confused teenage heart should take action, and be let heard by the world but instead I remain silent.

In my head I'm doing all these things and more, I can feel my steady heartbeat become more rapid as my thought progress.

I should sobbing. Tears should be roaming down my face, each droplet releasing an image of his perfect hair, perfect face, him.

Though instead it remains tangled, permanently embedded, like a song playing on repeat over and over again.

Three knocks, three knocks is what it took for my attention and focus to be taken off the blank wall and to the door.

"Can I come in honey," my mother's voice seems sympathetic, she always knew when I was upset.

As the door opens I sit up, criss crossing my legs on the white comforter that laid underneath me.

It didn't take long, as the second she makes eye contact with me my walls come crumbling down. She rushes over to me throwing her arms over my body that was now curled up into her side. Her chin rested on the top of my head as her fingers raked up and down my arm in a soothing motion in attempts to calm me down. Though it only encouraged my feeling to project more, as my sobs became louder and louder muffled by my legs that were pulled up against my chest.

"It was him wasn't it."

Her blunt words stung, as reality began to sink in.

"You know I know you don't want to hear this, but I need you to hear it."

"He broke me, he twisted everything in my head and my heart, my heart its, its-" she cuts my sobs off and shakes her head.

"Young love is such a strange concept, it's never who you think it would be either. But what is young love? It's a feeling so much stronger than any other kind of love. It's derived from two naive people, and it causes you to do the most stupid of things." She hugged me harder.

"You know I met your father when I was a junior in high school. He was a senior at the time and everyone told us it would never work out, and that he was leaving for college and it would be no use. And as for your father, well he wasn't the man he is now. In high school he was a player, bad boy with a jacket and a motorcycle, but I was in love. I fell for your father hard and despite what he did to me I never lost the grip I had on him," she pauses, "I see the way he looks at you. No matter who is over or what the conversation is about his eyes always find their way back to you. He looks at you like you are the only girl in the world. I saw the way he looked at you when you walked down those steps earlier. Seeing the two of you together, it's like watching a hallmark movie. Baby, I see the way your face lightens and your cheeks turn red at a simple glance. You may not see it but I do. You know, people would do anything for the one's they love, even if that means being portrayed as the bad guy. Not now, but talk to him. Hear him out, there is always two sides to every story. And I'm sure you will figure out more than what you had perceived."

I let her words sink in, but then remember that she thinks this whole thing is about Chris. The lowlife, selfish Chris; just thinking of him makes me want to roll my eyes. But, my mom and dad loved him. If only she knew what was really going on. Should I tell her...