The Girl In The Suit

Tasha

I burst through the door of the house and I run up the stairs to my room. This is easily the worst day I've had in ages. Why didn't I just wait until Gabby came home? Why did Gemma kiss me? Nothing makes sense.

I look in the mirror and I touch my lips lightly. I suddenly feel a surge of anger at Gemma. She knows full well that I'm only helping her and I love Gabrielle. I love Gabrielle. I love Gabrielle.

I repeat those words in my head before I realise I'm saying them. Tears spill down from my eyes and I throw myself onto the bed and I fall into a full on panic attack. All I want right now is Gabby's arms.

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

I wake up to a stone banging against my window. I open my eyes and check the time. Its past 7. I really dont remember falling asleep.

I get off of the bed and I go over to the window. I see Gabrielle down on the ground. I open up the window.

"Jesus Christ, Tash. I've been home 2 hours and you didnt answer my calls or texts. I was so worried."

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep. Come on up, my parents will let you in."

She gives me a thumbs up and heads towards the door. I sit on my bed as I wait for her to come up. Less then a minute later, she opens the door and comes in. She sits beside me on the bed.

"Tash, is everything ok?", she asks, looking at me with such a concern in her eye. The words just won't come out.

She looks beautiful. Shes wearing the shirt I bought her for Christmas and the shorts she got the day we went to Penneys. I don't know what comes over me as I grab her face and kiss her, hard. She starts responding immediately. She brings us down onto my bed. I start pulling up her shirt, but before I do, I break the kiss.

"I'm sorry, is this ok?", I ask. 

"Yes, more than ok.", she replies with a smile.

"I love you.", I say before kissing her again and getting rid of her shirt and she doing the same to me. I climb on top of her before kissing her neck.

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Afterwards, we have our arms around each other as I stare up at the ceiling. For once today, I feel peace, and happiness. I smile to myself.

"That was amazing.", Gabrielle says, turning to face me, and I turn my body around. "But, what happened to not rushing things?"

I sigh. "I was upset today, Gabrielle. Really upset. When you came back, I was so happy, and it made me realise I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and how much I love you, and I don't wanna lose you, ever."

She smirks. "Jesus, what happened while I was gone for a few hours?"

"Loads. Never leave me again, Gabby." We both laugh.

"But seriously, Tash, why are you so upset?"

I take in a breath. "The thing is that evee since my birthday, and even before it, I've been waking up at night thinking about Clodagh. Today, though, I woke up at 5 and I didn't get back to sleep. And I wanted to talk to you about it, but you were gone, so I went to Gemma because she's my best friend. Please don't be mad, but she kissed me. I pushed her off and walked away, and I came up here and my mind was racing. I got some sort of panic attack and I knocked out for 4 hours."

"Jesus, Tasha. I'm so sorry. I wish I was there for you."

"I wish I waited for you to come back."

"I'm back now, Tash. And I'm staying here. I'll bring you to all my appointments if that means you're ok. Please tell me from now on if there's anything up. I need to know everything."