The Girl In The Suit

Gemma

When I finish dinner, I start to head up to my room. I wasn't in town at all today, I stayed at home and had a family day, something we haven't had in years. I'm kind of enjoying being back home, because if I was living with Anne right now, it would be too painful.

I pick up my phone and decide to text her. When I enter my Snapchat, I'm immediately shocked. Anne's name isn't there. She blocked me. What's gotten into her? I try Instagram and she doesn't come up either. I then try to call her but my phone tells me I'm out of credit. This girl really wants nothing to do with me. That hurts to say after 3 or 4 months of having her house to call home. It feels like being shot in the stomach.

My first instinct is to snap Tasha and tell her to call me. It isn't until 9 that I finally get a reply, however.

Shit, I'm soooo sorry, Gemma. I was at the beach with my parents and Gabby and we're only in the car now. What's wrong? I'm really sorry.

I smile at her apology, knowing that she wouldn't not respond to me unless she was busy.

It's ok, Tash. It's just Anne has blocked me on Instagram and Snapchat and I'm out of credit and I have no way of contacting her. I'm just blocked off to her now. Even Ali isn't replying.

She replies a minute later.

Well, that's what you get for being a bitch.

What?

I read it again.

Shes just being a bitch, Gem. I'll try to get through to her.

I take in a breath of relief.

Thanks, Tasha.

No problem, Gem.
We're just going in for food now so I'll ring you when I'm home, Ok? And I'll try something with Anne.

Ok. Thanks again.

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Tasha tried to talk to Anne. She wasn't having any of it though. Tash told me that she isn't mad that I'm ace, she's mad because I was apparently quick to drop her. I only mentioned breaking up so she wouldn't miss out on it. I still have feelings for her, which is why I am trying to repair this. After all, I'm the one who fucked it up.

The strangest thing Tasha told me was that Anne told her that she thinks I was playing with her this entire time, and that I was only doing it for a laugh with the others. I wouldn't live with someone for months and grow close to them just for the craic. I must've made her very mad.

The worst part is that the ball is less than 2 weeks away, and we were originally going to go together. We don't need to see each other to know that it isn't happening anymore. Tasha is letting me tag along with her and Gabrielle. It's just going to be weird seeing Anne most likely with Caoimhe, Amelia and Hayley, if with anyone. I'm mad about her but she's never really been good at making friends. She's just shy.

Another thing that's been weird ever since the deal with Anne is that I've started having weird thoughts about, out of all people, Tasha. I don't like her that way or anything, it's just when we've been talking, I've been looking at her lips and thinking about kissing them. I know I definitely can't, because she loves Gabrielle more than anyone and I still love Anne, but it's just a feeling I've got. I definitely don't like her anyways. She's my best friend.

I think I'm just heartbroken. I'm not going to let Tasha be my rebound though. She's been there for me and I can't do it to her.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone lighting up with a text. I almost fall off my bed when I see Tashas name on it.

Wanna meet up? Gabby's at an appointment all day and I really need to talk to someone.

I sigh as I reply, wondering what could possibly be troubling the mighty Tasha Hanrahan.

Ok. The playground near the church?, I type, then decide against it, remember that is where Anne and I had our first kiss. I rewrite it. Ok. Tesco's?

Perfect. See you in ten.

I throw on my hoodie, say goodbye to my family and head out the door, trying to avoid the pounding in my chest.

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

I arrive outside the shop and I see Tasha holding 2 bottles of Lucozade. She walks over to me with a smile. "Hey.", she greets.

I force a smile despite the unfamiliar nervousness I'm feeling. "Hiya." She hands me the drink and our fingertips brush for a quarter of a second, barely noticeable except by me. I brush it off and say, "Thank you."

"Wanna take a walk?", she asks. "We can walk and talk."

"Ok."

We head back downtown without a word being spoken. I finally speak up.

"Tasha, what's wrong?"

She stops walking, and we're outside Blueberries. She looks up at me and thats all it takes for her to burst into tears right there. This is the first time I've ever seen Tasha cry. I immediately push my feelings aside and go over to hug her. She buries her head in my hoodie.

"Hey, hey, Tash, what is it?"

"It's - it's all too much, Gemma. She's always there."

"Who is, Tasha?"

"C-Clodagh. I cant get a night's sleep with her. I woke up at 5 this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. I just can't take it anymore." She sobs into my hoodie as I pull her in tighter.

"Does Gabrielle know about this?"

"No. Shes going through her own stuff at the minute. I can't tell you what though, it's private."

"I understand. I really think you should tell her though. Shes your girlfriend. She knows you better than anyone and she's probably noticing something's up and she's worried. Tell her as soon as she comes home."

"I will. Thanks, Gemma." She breaks out of our hug so we're facing each other.

"No problem."

Suddenly, the feelings come rushing back, and I don't know what overcomes me, but before I know it, my lips are on hers.

She pushes me back immediately. "Gemma, what the fuck?"

My heart drops. "Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened."

"I know what happened. You're upset about Anne, we've been spending time together and you think I'm your rebound. Well, I'm not. I have a girlfriend. I'm sorry if I made you think anything, but I don't like you that way, Gemma. I'm ok now. I need to be back home before dinner anyways." She starts walking away.

"Tasha!"

She looks at me one more time before giving me a small smile and wiping her eyes. She then turns a corner and just like that, I'm all alone once again.