Under the Same Sky

From Eden

It had been a long time since I had seen my brother. He was 10 years older than me, and he had moved out right when mom did. He didn't want anything to do with the family.  He had left me records when he left (Simon & Garfunkel, The Clash, John Denver) and without them I probably wouldn't be who I was today. He and I had been somewhat close growing up, and still talked after he moved out. He lived with his boyfriend, Tyler. 

I was thumbing through one of the books on their shelves, it looked like just a journal, but it was filled with all these quotes on love and life. One stuck out to me. 

"Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay" 

-Dalai Lama 

"I see you found our journal." Dustin said, leaning against the doorway. 

"Oh, shit. You scared me. What is this?" I asked

"When Ty and I first got together, the first year of our relationship we would write down quotes that reminded us of each other." 

My heart felt a little pang. I wanted something like that with someone, but everytime I got within arms reach of it, it was always yanked away. It just looked like it came so easy to everyone else, but not to me. 

"That's so fucking adorable." I said, smiling. 

"Thanks. Hey, Y/N, not that I'm not happy to see you, but why are you here?" 

"I came to see you" I said, smiling big. 

"Yeah right, what happened?"

I sighed. He always knew when something was up, we had the same behaviors in that sense. We couldn't hide it, but hated talking about it. I gave in and told him everything that had happened with Jake and Clark and how fucked up everything was right now. 

"Why are you running?" He asked

"I don't know what else to do." 

"Dude, you're obviously in love with Jake. You have to tell him that. And as for Clark, screw him. He didn't appreciate you when he had you, you don't owe him space in that head of yours. If your heart is saying Jake, then you should be running to him not from him." He said, cooly. 

"Since when did you become so philosophical?" I asked, laughing. 

He shrugged. 

"There's only one problem though, he's with Jita." I said. 

"Oh dude. I forgot. Fuck. You're not a homewrecker, but also there's no point in waiting around for him. I say you go back home though, and face the rest of the things that are on your mind. You can't do that while you're on the run. Don't go chasing ghosts, go chase your dreams instead. Focus on you now instead of guys for a while." 

I nodded and thanked him. I packed up my things and sighed. I gave him a big hug and thanked him for everything. I told him to come visit on the west coast if he ever needed a break. I opened the door to his house and was greeted by a worried (but relieved) Jenny. 

And Jake. 

We looked at each other for a minute, not saying anything. 

"Y/N, thank god you're okay! We've been so worried." 

"Don't worry about me honey, I can take care of myself. But um Jen, why is he here?" I asked, half anxious and half upset. 

"He overheard me telling Josh you were okay, and insisted on coming along." 

"Well here I am" I said 

"Why did you run?" He spoke. 

"Excuse me?" 

"Why did you run from me?" 

"Hmm let's see, Jacob. You told me you were interested, and then you show up with another girl and no explanation and go completely awol." 

"You never told me what you wanted, I was so confused!" he said, his voice raising. 

"You never gave me the chance!" I shouted. 

"Well here's your chance, what do you want?" 

"You to leave me alone. Just forget we even met." I regretted the words as soon as they came out, but it was too late. 

"Fine. Have a good life." He said, turning on his heel to go back to the car. 

Jenny gave me a worried look. 

"Babes, he really does love you. He broke up with Jita the second you left." Jen said.

"he didn't mention it, or come looking for me."

"We all came looking for you, they postponed the tour so that we could find you. Jake hasn't been playing the same since you left."

"Jen, I love him too, but I can't keep waiting for him to make a move. My heart hurts. Clark broke it too much and it's still healing. I can't be playing games anymore. I want something real. I want the next relationship I'm in to be the last one. I want a love that runs wild like a river, feels like velvet and tastes like honey. I need to focus on myself now. Maybe, if our paths cross again sometime in the future, we can be together. Right now, we both have some growing up to do." 

She nodded, understandingly. 

"Okay, well please keep me updated and please be safe." 

"I will, I'm heading back home. Let me know when you get back and we can hang out together."

"Okay. Also, I have some good news, but I'm not sure if now is the time."

"Tell me, I need to hear something good." 

"Josh and I are getting a place together after they get back from tour!" she gushed.

"OMG JEN THAT'S AMAZING CONGRATULATIONS!!!" i screamed, hugging her. 

"Thank you!" she beamed. 

"I'll see you soon! love you." I said

"Love you too!" she said, turning on her heel and walking to the car. 

She genuinely deserved to be happy, and I hated that I felt a little bit of jealousy as she told me her good news. I looked at Jake sitting in the car, wondering how different things would be if I just went over and kissed him and told him how I felt about him. My heart caught in my throat and I couldn't bring myself to do it. 

Maybe one day we'll meet again.

I walked to my car, and pulled out of the driveway, not looking back to see if they had left yet. 

***

I'm thinking of only doing a few more chapters of this story before moving on to a Sam fic because I don't know how much longer I can carry this out.