Until Her...

Chapter Ten

I storm out of the building, deciding then and there that I'm moving into a different group. I'll have a different teacher I don't care, I can't stand being near that boy for a second, let alone a few hours a week. I take in a deep breath of fresh air once I'm outside, hoping it will calm me down. Why does he get to me so much?
"Norah wait" Gabriel calls after me.
"Go away" I walk towards the dorms.
"Look... just wait. I'm sorry okay. I've been a sort of a jerk to you lately"
"Sort of...Really?" I shout at him not turning around but instead, I pick up my pace, my anger flooding over me. A hand reaches out and grabs me, pulling me back from the street and out of the way of the car that was speeding towards me. Gabriel is standing stiffly his body pressed against mine, his large hands gripping my arms. My skin tingles from his touch, sending electricity up my body. I've imagined it would be like to have him hold me, but now that I'm in this moment, it's different from what I'd thought.
"Are you ok?" his voice is panicked and he lets go of me. He pushes the hair out of my face, lightly brushing my cheek. The butterflies intensify from his sweet gesture. His hands are big, a lot bigger than I thought they'd be, softer too. Most artist hands are rough like mine are. Not that I've been spending a lot of time thinking about his hands.
"Norah? You ok?" he asks again, pushing me from my silence.
"Yeah, I'm ... I'm fine. Thank you" I give him a pensive smile. My anger and frustration have eased, but not completely passed. If he hadn't pissed me off I wouldn't have been storming off and seeing anything by red. His thumb keeps moving across my cheek as he leads me to sit down on the stoup of a small building. I try to calm down and catch my frightened breath.
"I'm sorry" he looks down at his feet, the same way I do when I'm uncomfortable. "I've not been very nice to you"
"No, you haven't"
"I know. I'm sorry. I don't know why. You just ... rub me up the wrong" he sighs.
"Great, so it's my fault" I stand up to walk away but he grabs my arm, stopping me.
"I'm sorry, I just mean that... I ... well, I don't really know what I mean" He regains himself, trying to apologise but doing a terrible job.
"Ok well, will you let go of me so I can leave please?" I yell, trying to yank my arm away. And I swore for a second that I saw a flash of guilt or pain in his eyes, just as he slowly removes his fingers from my arm.
"Sorry" he says.
"Wow, you sure do apologise a lot" Repeating the same comment he made, I shouldn't be making a joke right now but he looks so sad, and I can't help but feel protective.
"You're making fun of me?" A wide smile spreading on his face.
"Maybe" a little giggle leaving my mouth. He stands up and his large body is towering over me. "Are you going to keep being mean to me"
"Not unless you deserve it" He laughs at me but not with humour, it's more like he's got a secret. It's discomforting.
"Friends" he asks. We shake hands for a little too long, and I can feel my heartbeat radiating from my chest and down my arms.
"Friends" And I yank my hand away, feeling uneasy about the sensation I've felt from touching him. I turn and stride off, very confused. Is this another one of his games, in any moment he's going to turn around and say something cruel? Like he usually does? I should keep some distance from him, be a bit heedful of what I say and do around him. Maybe I should change into a different lecture group, or drop the class altogether. Avoid any suggestion Avery makes of hanging out with her friends, in case maybe he's there. Maybe... it's all maybe. Why do I always let my fears manifest into irrational thinking? I can't keep going on with my life avoiding everything, because there's the possibility of someone becoming apart of it. What if he really does want to be friends, it would certainly make my life easier. But I can't shake the unpleasant feeling I have from our encounter.

BACK IN the dorms, I'm sulking as I storm into Elijah's bedroom. As I think more about my earlier interaction with Gabriel, I start to get annoyed with myself. Why did I so easily agree to be friends with him? I can't understand why I let him get to me so much. I huff very loudly as I bury myself under Elijah's duvet, showing my clear frustration. Eli's sat at his desk doing work, but he turns from his desk on his swivel chair so that he's facing me.
"Norah what are you doing?" he asks.
"Hiding" I tell him from under his covers.
"How come?" he asks. Rolling over to his bed while still sitting in his chair. He pulls the duvet away from me, showing my face.
"Why do you think?" I tell him.
"Gabriel, what in the world did you do now" he says.
"Nothing! I haven't done anything" I say pissed off. Why does he keep thinking it's me that's the problem. He always thinks it's me, but this time it definitely isn't.
"What's wrong then" he wonders
"He rubs me up the wrong way that boy. And he won't stop bugging me. He kept trying to sit close to me and talk to me in class. Then he completely embarrassed me in front of everybody today." I say getting very animated with my annoyance. He gives a little snigger at me.
"How did he do that" still sniggering at me.
"Well, for starters he made me break my charcoal pencil. Then I dropped all over the floor, my brushes and sketches. He helped me pick my stuff up, but then he started looking at all of my drawings without permission"
"So you're saying that he wanted to get to know you, he helped you when you dropped your stuff and he wanted to look at your drawings. Wow, he really is terrible" he makes fun of me. I pull the duvet back over my head, miffed by his reaction. Why can't he just be annoyed with me and say shit about him to make me feel better?
"Argh" I scream into his pillow. And I feel some tension release. I don't know why I'm so angry. Eli's right, he didn't really do anything that bad. I'm just annoyed by how he can get under my skin.
"Come on Norah, I'm just joking" he shoves me.
"He just... he's just so irritating! He's been provoking me ever since I first met him. In class. At dinner. At the cinema" I say, trying to figure out how I really feel.
"What happened at the cinema?" he says, and I realise I hadn't talked to him about that.
"He basically called me childish. And that I was a bitch because I didn't like his painting. He kept calling me rude." I over exaggerate. I just want someone to moan about him too without judging me, and Eli is an excellent listener.
"Then he pretended that he wanted to make up with me, only to turn around and insult me again. I mean he even made fun of me not liking romcoms. I mean who does that?"
"I do" he cheekily smiles at me.
"Yeah but you're my friend, so it's allowed" I smile back.
"Have you tried ignoring him"
"Yes, but it's kind of hard with him being friend with Avery. If I'm not seeing him in class, I'm bumping into him in the hallway. Or she's inviting them to come and hang out with us"
"Maybe you should say something to her" he suggests.
"I can't he's her friend. I don't want to make things awkward for her" knowing that that's not the real reason I don't want to say anything to her. Part of me doesn't want to ignore him. That maybe I secretly like running into him in the hallway, or hearing his name pop up in a conversation.
"Want me to say something to her" he offers.
"No, it's fine, honestly. I'll come up with some way to ignore him. Plus I know you like him"
"As long as you're sure?"
"I am. Thanks, Eli. Sorry, I'm always moaning to you. You can go back to work now" I say. And he does exactly that, leaving me to keep sulking under the covers.
"Let's go out and do something" I say, not wanting to be cooped up inside anymore.
"What you have in mind?" he says.
"Why don't we go do some sightseeing?" I suggest. "I've not been able to really see anything except for the little area Wyatt shows us. And Avery won't do it as she's already seen everything. This is the perfect time to go, come on, please"
"I've got coursework I need to do" he says unconvincingly. He wants to come, I know he does, as he hasn't seen any of the tourist attractions either.
"Ok, I guess I'll just have to go by myself then" I get up out of his bed and pout at him while walking towards the door.
"Fine. A few hours and that's it" he slams his book shut and grabs his wallet and keys.
"Deal!" I say celebrating my victory.