Until Her...

Chapter Forty-Three

To be fair to Gabriel he's kept his word about making me dinner ever time I've stayed over. And now I come round more and more, hardly ever staying at my dorms. It's much nicer at his place and I feel extremely comfortable, and his room is in a whole separate area of the apartment from his roommates so it's private and easy to hide out there.
"Have you read all of these?" I ask Gabriel as I scan over his bookshelf, curious as I've never asked before.
"Most of them" he tells me looking up from his sketchbook.
"Which one's your favourite?"
"I don't play favourites" he smiles at me.
"Come on everyone has a favourite" I press, and playfully smile back.
"What's your then?"
"Little Women" I say confidently, not even needing to think about it.
"Of course it is. You're such a Jo" he laughs at me.
"No, I'm not. I think I'm more of an Amy" I say defensively. Jo is my favourite character in the book, but I don't think I'm anything like her. 
"The only thing you and Amy have in common is you both like to paint. You and Jo are both stubborn, both dress like boys and you both have a terrible temper"
"I'll agree with you about being stubborn. But I do not dress like a boy, if you don't like the way I dress then don't look at me. And I have a normal amount of temper...sometimes" I lie, trying to find the humour after my meltdown a dew weeks ago. But now that I really think about it, he's right, I'm a Jo. At least her worse qualities, I wish I was as honest, brave and self assured as she is.
"But I like looking at you" he moans playfully, "I'm definitely a Laurie"
"Cause your both rich and boring" I tease him, he instantaneously starts smacking me with a pillow playfully, and I start doing the same with him.
"I'm anything but boring" he says as I pin him down on the bed, the same way he's so frequently does to me. His soft curls rest against his forehead, and I get lost  staring at how beautiful he is.
"What?" he asks after I stare a little too long.
"I kinda like being around you is all" I kiss him quickly.
"Kinda?"
"Only a little... An hour max and then you drive me insane" I make a millimetre of space with my fingers.
"And what is it you like to do in that hour?" he asks raising his eyebrows with a huge grin, the way he aways does when he's feeling horny. His hands travel up my legs and under my dress. My lips mould to Gabriel's and then they travel down till I get to his jeans. Gabriel's eyes widen and I can tell what he wants me to do. I feel a little embarrassed as I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't want to ask. My eyes search for permission and he bring's his hands down to mine and we pull his shorts down exposing his length. I get on my knees in front of him and cup his length, stoking slowly down him.
"Only take as much as you can" he tells me obviously sensing my concern of what to do. He doesn't make me uncomfortable or make fun of me, instead he watches and guides me. I take a deep break before I take him in my mouth, only a little at first. He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth as I take him deeper each time I move up and down down, using my hand on the rest of his length. 
"Fuck...yes...like that" he groans at me as he rocks his hips to bring him further into my mouth. I almost gag as I'm not use to the sensation, almost taking all of him in. His muscles tighten as his head leans back, and I look up and watch him biting his lip from the sensation I'm giving him. His legs start to tighten and I know what this means, he's getting close. 
"Look at me" he moans staring down at me, I bring my eyes up to meet his as I keep moving against him. He moans my name repeatedly until I feel his release drip down the back of my throat. It's not what I thought it would taste like, it's sweet at first but then as it lingers in my mouth I can taste the saltiness.
An exhausted smile appears on his face, "Fucking hell Norah...you sure you've never done that before" he says as he pulls me from the floor and brings me onto bed with him. Wrapping his arms as I pull my legs over him. Then he helps me find my own release, and we fall asleep holding each other. I love the way I make him feel, and the way he makes me feel. 

...

I'VE BEEN wanting to ask Avery about this for a while but I never felt ready or comfortable to ask her before. But I've been thinking about it non stop for few weeks. And I really need to talk to somebody about this, and Avery's the only person I trust to tell me and not judge me.
"Avery can I talk to you about something?" I ask her as she curls my hair.
"Yeah of course"
"What....What's it like?"
"What?" she turns the curlers off and I turn to her on the bed.
"Sex... the first time" I awkwardly ask her as I look away, feeling my face blush deep red.
"Oh" She looks both pleased and uncomfortable, "Well, umm...everyone's experience is different. But it's common to feel nervous or scared"
"Really?" I say shocked. And she holds my hand trying to comfort me.
"Yeah, I was terrified my first time" she giggles at herself as she remembers.
"But you loved Wyatt didn't you" Sex is the naturally the next step isn't it, when you first love someone?
"Of course. But there's a lot of pressure, from that moment. And preparations you need to take. Why are you thinking of having sex with someone?"
"One day" I tell her, maybe sooner than later.
"You never talked about this with your sisters?" I shake my head and she tells me all about her first time.
"How did you know what to do?"
"Your instincts kick in and if your with someone who's done it before, they tend to know what to do" Gabriel definitely knows what he's doing. I think that's why I'm so scared. He's been with a ton of girls, so why would he want me?
"It'll be awkward and you'll be nervous. But you will know when your ready" she assures me.
"How?"
"You just do. I can't really explain it" She doesn't look back on her time with regret or sadness. Instead it's as an experience that has shaped who she is today. And I like the idea of that. "It's like something tells you that this person is the one you've been waiting for. You know its right when your in the moment with them, and you have no doubt and your fear fades"
"Does it ...did it hurt?" I've heard may different experiences and stories, that the idea terrifies me.
"It did at first, but no so much after a while. And then its enjoyable and feels good. It's a very intimate thing, but its even more intimate when your doing it with someone special"
Is Gabriel the one? That someone special? He's been so important and special to me in so many ways. He's done and giving me so much, more than I ever expected from someone.
"I was in love, and things didn't pan out the way I had planned or expected it too. But I don't regret it" she tells me with utter honesty. I don't think we've ever had a deep chat as open and honest like this before. And it's probably only happening because she's the one being honest and not me. I can tell she was excited that I came to her to talk about this. I hug her so she knows how much I appreciate her telling me these things, "I like taking about this kinda stuff with you, giving you my wisdom. You'll tell me right, if you ever...you know" she narrows her eyes at me as she asks me.
"Yes, I promise" I give her a sweet smile. I should tell to her, she needs to know. I can't sit here and have her be honest with me about something so intimate, and I'm keeping secrets from her.
"I need to tell you something" I start to say till her door swings open and Emilia struts in.
"Avery...oh, hi Norah" she says clearly wishing I wasn't there.
"We were just talking can you give us a moment" Avery ask her, but that doesn't go down well.
"No, it's fine don't worry. We can talk about it tomorrow" I tell her getting up from the bed, "I should get going" because I can't stand being near Emilia and her rude personality.
"You sure?" Avery asks, obviously sensing the severity of it. I nod and go to leave the room.
I can hear Emilia as I head back to mine, "She's so annoying... why the hell you hang out with her?" Avery just laughs uncomfortably.