Until Her...

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Curiosity gets the better of me being alone in this massive apartment. So I pace back and forth outside of Xavier's room, trying to tell myself not to go in. But my desire to see it takes over me. I wonder if his room is messy, or oddly neat like Gabriel's. What I didn't expect was to see boxes filling up the room. His room is half packed full of books and clothes.
"Hey it's me" I say to Xavier on the phone.
"Norah, hey, what's up" Xavier says to me, happy to hear my voice.
"What's up with your bedroom? All of your stuff is packed up?" I ramble way too fast for any normal sane person to understand.
"I've moved out"
"Why?"
"Gabriel made it pretty clear that I wasn't welcome anymore"
"What" Why would he do that to his friend.
"I wanted to leave anyway. I couldn't live in that apartment with him anymore" the strain is clear in his voice. "My friend has an empty room in her apartment so she's letting me crash till I find someone more permanent" Thank god, I was worried that he was living on someones crappy couch. At least he's got a proper bed in the meantime.
"Okay good" I say relieved.
"You should come over and see it. You'd like the place, very artistic" he informs me. "What have you been doing? You aren't in that apartment aline all day are you?" he asks me. How does he know that? Am I that predictable?
"No, I've been working at the studio and doing other stuff" I lie. I've mostly been watching old episodes of Alias or Roswell.
"You should really come over here one night. Can't be that fun in that apartment all by yourself. We're having a movie night tomorrow. If you can pull yourself away long enough to join us" he offers. He's right, I shouldn't be in the apartment on my own all the time. But I'm working at the studio tomorrow. I wish I didn't offer to do all the Christmas hours.
"That would be great, but tomorrow's the last day the studio's open before we close for Christmas. So I have to work, but another time perhaps?" I suggest.
"Count on it. Well, if you get bored I'm around if you wanna chat or hang out" he offers.
"Thanks Xavier" I say and put the phone down. 

...

I'VE GOTTEN SICK of sitting in the apartment waiting for Gabriel to not call me and watching tv that I've seen before. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, so I decide to go do something fun and productive. I go shopping to find a Christmas gift for myself, something to cheer me up. Now that I'm earning a decent wage at Enzo's I can afford to splash out on some new things.I've already bought some new biker boots and one of those polaroid camera's. I've always wanted one so I thought why not spoil myself. I even bought a pair of heels, Avery would be so proud of me. And then I decide to do the less fun thing and buy myself some clothes. I've never really enjoyed clothes shopping as I always end up leaving feeling worse about myself. It's just discouraging trying item after item and not feeling sexy or cute enough in them. But I need a dress for the exhibition, and I know I can't borrow something of Avery's anymore. I go into Macy's to see if I can find anything, and I'm surprised by how many things I like. Usually I end up picking one thing and even then I don't like it that much. I'm not sure if it's the bad mood I'm in or the new found confidence Gabriel has given me, but I don't feel so uncomfortable trying them on. After a few snug fits and awkward lengths later I decide on two dresses. One for the exhibition, and the other one for...I don't know for fun maybe. There both conservative, but sexy at the same time. Both showing more flesh and having a tighter fit than I'm usually comfortable with, but I'm trying something new. I'm trying to be a more confident person, so why not start with the clothes first. I also end up buying some new t-shirts and a pair of jeans. And to be honest the retail therapy helped, I can see why girls all over the world do this sort of thing. Once I'm all clothes shopped out, I head to the local supermarket and pick up some food for the next couple days. I even pick up baking ingredients, anything I can do to help fill my time. I decide to go by my dorms before heading back to the apartment. This way I can pick up some clean clothes, even though I've been wearing Gabriel's most of the time. I've only spoken to him a few times since he's been away, always brief, not lasting any longer than ten minutes. He's busy spending time with his family and I don't want him to feel like he has to check up on me. But still I would like to hear from him more.

The next day I grab my sketchbook, camera and jacket, and head into the city. I haven't gone out and drawn people in months, I've been so busy and all of my free time has been spent with my friends and Gabriel. So it's nice to be able to do this again as it reminds me of when I first came to the city. And the first time I saw Gabriel. I start at Rockefeller centre and take photos of the humongous Christmas tree and all of the beautiful storefront decorations. Then I head over to Bryant Park Winter Village, where there are kiosks and food stands all over the place. In the middle of it is one of the larges ice-skating rinks I've ever seen, so I sit and draw people skating. It reminds me of when we used to go back in London this time of year. How my dad would always fall over, but he'd get right back up. Ever year head fall, and every year he kept trying. I draw and photograph lots of people, feeling inspired by this festive season. Before I know it I have four complete paintings set up in Gabriel's apartment.