Until Her...

Chapter Seventy-Two

Three weeks since our breakup. Gabriel's told to Avery that he's purposefully avoiding coming around the dorms, so he doesn't risk running into me. He's been coming into the studio on my days off. And I don't know why but I couldn't help myself, so I asked my lecturer "Do you know why Gabriel hasn't been attending class lately"
She probably thinks I'm being very intrusive, so I say, "He said he'd help me with one of my pieces, so I was just wondering when he'd be coming back"
"Oh right. Gabriel was granted special permission by the head of the department to miss our classes for the next month or so. He has an exhibition at a studio he's preparing for, so he'll be busy doing that for a while. But I'm sure one of the other students in class would be happy to help you, or maybe some other first years?" she tells me.
"Yeah... ok... thanks" I say my voice fading out, hearing the sadness. I knew he was avoiding me, but I didn't think he would go to such extremes as to avoid me. And just when I think I'm finished with the sadness and pain, a massive wave comes and pulls me back under. Burying me in it.
"Come on Norah, we're going out for some drinks" Elijah says, trying to pull me out of my bed.
"I don't want too, I'm too tired Eli" I moan at him, keeping my body a heavy lump so that he has difficulty pulling me out of my bed.
"I thought you were over this? You'd been doing so well the last few weeks" He says so severe. I've never heard him raise his voice, let alone be angry.
"He transferred out of class. He doesn't want anything to do with me"
"Get up Norah I mean it! You're not going back to hiding in here" he yells at me, finally grabbing me out of the bed and making me fall to the floor. We laugh together as I slump on the ground.
"We're going drinking" he tells me which actually sounds perfect. I can drown my sorrows. So I take shower and for the first time in weeks I actually make an effort to look nice. I wear tight black jeans and a large oversize knitted jumper. It's been really cold the last week, and snows covering the ground again. I pull on my fluffy socks, biker boots and coat on and head out with Elijah.
"What pub are we going?"
"Just a pub down the road, not too fancy don't worry" he says as we walk slowly down the bright slippery streets. He say's in a terrible English accent, making fun of the way I say pub instead of bar. It's nice and warm inside the pub, we take off our jackets and pop them on a rack by the front door. Elijah starts looking around the bar.
"What you looking for?" I ask, trying to see what he's look at.
"Don't be mad" he says turning to me with a concerned look on his face. When I look back I find Avery sat at a table towards the back.
"What the hell Elijah?" I say completely astounded that he would ambush me like this. This hurts more than the snowball to the face, so much more.
"I'm sorry, I knew you couldn't come if I told you she was here"
"You're right I wouldn't. I'm leaving" I say heading towards the rack. He stands in front of me blocking me from grabbing my jacket.
"You two need to talk and put everything behind you" he says.
"I've tried but she wont talk to me. You know that" He's supposed to be my friend, after everything she's done to him, he's still protecting her.
"You're my friends and I love you both, but I can't keep being in the middle of you two, it's not fair. I want to be able to hang out with both of you. So please just try again, that's all I'm asking" he pleads with me. If he wasn't there for me all the time and dragged my out of my pity party I'd be walking away right now. But I owe it to him to try.
"Fine, but I'm only doing it for you" I pout and I trail behind as we walk towards her.
"Finally I've been waiting ages for you" she says looking at Eli. I peer from behind him and she just as annoyed to see me as I was her. At least I'm not the only one being ambushed.
"What the hell is she doing here?" Avery interrogates, folding her arms in front of her.
"You two need to talk. Please Avery" he presses her.
"I got nothing to say to her" she's glaring at me. Elijah was right she is stubborn, almost as stubborn as I am. But I look at Elijah and I can see how much it's hurting him being put in the middle of our drama.
"Please Avery, just hear me out. For Eli's sake" I say and sit opposite Avery. Eli walks off towards the bar, but keeps looking at us. "I know you're angry with me and you have every right to be"
"Damn right I do" she snaps.
"I'm sorry, I'm not going to try and make excuses for what I did. But I never wanted to hurt you, it kills me knowing how much I hurt and betrayed you. I'm just so sorry I didn't tell you" I look down at my hands, and start playing with my nails.
I look up and she's crying, "Why didn't you? You could have told me?" And it kills me all over again.
"Because I was worried you'd hate me, and that I'd lose my best friend. But I lost you anyway."
"You hurt me" her tears are making mine start to fall.
"I know, I'm sorry" I say so downhearted.
"Why did you do it?"
"I wanted to tell you and I tried so many times. But the closer I got to him, the harder it was to tell you. It's inexcusable. And I get that you can't forgive me or be my friend again. Just know that I'm sorry"
"If you'd told me you liked him to I might of understood. No, I would have understood" he tells me.
"I couldn't admit it to myself. I spent months convincing that what I felt was just a crush, that I couldn't really like him. But he got to me, and I couldn't keep pretending anymore. I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted" And all of the guilt and pain I've been holding onto since I betrayed her, starts to pour down my face.
"I don't think I can forgive you. Not because your with him, I don't care about that. But you lied to me for months. I can't just forget about that" she's stopped crying, instead her voice is steady and flat.
"Okay. Just know that you're my best friend and I never deserved you. Thank you so much for everything you've given me" Hot tears are streaming down my ice cold face, and I finally feel a sense of relief. She's finally let me say everything I need to say to her.
"You're crying? But you never cry" she says completely confounded.
"I do that a lot now" I say wiping my wet face, slightly embarrassed by my public meltdown.
"I'll go and let you and Elijah hang out" I stand up from the table. She doesn't say anything, she just looks up at me, completely deadpan.
"If I could go back and do it differently...if I could take back the pain I've caused, I would in a heartbeat. I miss you more than anything" She doesn't look at me so go to the bar to tell Elijah I'm leaving. I knew she wouldn't forgive me. I wouldn't forgive me either. But I'm just glad that we were able to clear the air in some way.
"Wait!" Avery's voice cuts through the air and she's walking towards me. I wonder if she's going to scream or slap me, not that I don't deserve either of them. Instead she wraps her little arms around me, giving me the biggest hug. I drop head into her and hold her back, missing the comfort of my friends arms.
"I don't forgive you" she says, not letting me go. But I don't want her too, I just want my friend back. "But I'll try"
"You will?" I say surprised and very relieved. I hug her back equally as hard.
"I miss my friend to. I want her back more than anything" she cries into me.
"I'm so sorry Avery" And we keep hugging and crying. I don't want to let her go, just incase she changes her mind.
"What did I miss?" Elijah says cooly, pretending that he hasn't been listening to us the entire time. We laugh at his silly comment, and our little trio's finally on its way to being together again.


IT FEELS LIKE old times as we catch up on everything we've missed with each other. I purposefully leave out anything to do with Gabriel. She's gets straight back into gossiping with me and filling me in on everything I've missed.
"Oh you'll never guess what happened with James" she says so enthusiastically.
"What happened?"
"So he came to a party at Wyatt's house with his new boyfriend" she tells me. "You can finally meet him, as he's bringing him here"
"Speaking of... Hey, yeah...we are sat towards the back... Ok see you in a bit" she says down the phone and a few minutes later James and his boyfriend walk in. Avery was right he's seriously hot. But then I see Gabriel behind them and I panic. Avery didn't warn me that he's coming, but why would she, she thinks we're still together. And I wonder why Gabriel hasn't said anything to her about it, or Elijah.
"I'm so sorry I've got to go" I say picking up my hat and scarf from the chair.
"Wait what, where you going?" Eli says confused.
"I've just got to..." I start to say until James' voice interrupts me. Shit, I wanted to leave before they saw me.
"Hey guys, sorry we're late. So this is my boyfriend Tom" James proudly introduces him as they sit at the table.
"This is Elijah and Norah" he finishes pointing us out for his boyfriend. Tom makes a face towards Gabriel, when James introduces me.
"Nice to meet you" he say, obviously having heard all about me.
"And you" I smile at him, purposefully avoiding looking at Gabriel as he sits between James and Eli, "I'm sorry but I have to get going"
"Wait the guys just got here?" Avery says confused but my sudden rush. I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn't understand why Gabriel and I avoiding each other. "Are you leaving cause of me? Cause I'm fine hanging out with you two really. You don't have to ignore each other for my sake"
"No, it's not that. I've got other plans" I lie, not wanting Gabriel to know that I'm leaving because it's too hard to be around him. Elijah gives my hand a squeeze, knowing exactly why I'm leaving.
"It was really nice to meet you" I say to Tom. I quickly glance at Gabriel who's completely silent and avoiding me.
"Yeah you too" he says and I turn to leave.
"I'll see you later" I say towards Eli and Avery. And I practically run out of the pub.