Until Her...

Chapter Fifty-One

Gabriel and I have managed to talk and resolve everything, and we haven't argued once since. Since we've come out of the shadows and exposed our relationship to everyone, we've become so much more to each other. And its been a lot easier because we're no longer hiding and free to be us, together. Avery still isn't talking to me, but that hasn't stopped me from trying. I haven't told Gabriel about what Xavier said, and I'm not sure I should. Everything's been so perfect lately, I don't want to ruin anything by something that doesn't even matter that much.
"Hey" Gabriel interrupts my concentration as I'm painting in the studio.
"What are you doing here? I thought you had studying to do" I ask him, even though I'm happy to see him.
"It can wait. I wanted to see you" he plants a sweet kiss on my lips, then my temple, "What are you working on?"
"I'm not exactly sure yet" I say staring at the canvas which looks like an utter mess. "Are you staying?"
"Yeah I thought I'd get some more of the exhibition done" he tells me, grabbing some brushes from the pots. "Before you ask again, you'll see them opening night like everyone else"
I roll my eyes at him. I don't know why he's so secretive about these as I see his work in class all the time. "You know I'm working on your exhibition I can always just sneak a peak without you looking"
"Good to know. I'll make sure Enzo keeps them far, far away from you" he gives me a wicked grin.
"You suck" and I poke my tongue out at him. I go back to my canvas and sneak peaks of him working. I turn the music up and start messing around the studio, humming and dancing stupidly in front of my canvas. Gabriel's laughing at my dancing, but I don't care. My humming turns into full on singing, I don't even register that I'm doing it. This is what happiness feels like. Being content with him is like. I look over at Gabriel and he's staring at me. His mouth gaped open and wonder filling in his eyes.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask him, stopping my crazy dancing in front of him. I knew I was a bad dancer, but I didn't think it was that bad.
"Sorry it's just...You can sing. Like really sing?" he says and starts tickling me, obviously sensing my discomfort. I go back to painting in still silence, embarrassed that I've just done that.
"Don't stop on my account" he says.
"No, I'm not singing if you're listening to me" I say self consciously. I didn't even mean to singing in front of him in the first place.
"Why? Believe me you have nothing to be embarrassed about" he asks.
"I'm not embarrassed I just don't want too"
"I like listening to you sing" he says going back to painting.
"You've never heard me sing before"
"Yes I have. When you're in the shower, or making us breakfast. When you play your guitar"
"I've never played in front of you" I tell myself, more than him. Now he looks embarrassed.
"I...umm... I sit outside your bedroom and listen to you sometimes" he confesses.
"Why would you do that" Annoyed at the invasion of my privacy. But it's kind of endearing that he'd do that just to hear me.
"Because I knew you wouldn't do it in front of me" he tells me. "Every time I brought up your guitar or piano, you'd shut me down. I knew it was a touchy subject"
"It's not that. It's just ...my music's private. And deeply personal" I tell him. If he only knew how personal it was.
"I'm sorry"
"It's okay just don't do it again. Please" Wow, we resolved that like actual adults. Maybe we are getting better at this.
"You should go for it... stop hiding in your bedroom" he encourages me.
"It's not that simple" I turn back to my canvas trying to shut this conversation down.
"Seems simple to me. You love to play, so you should play"
He doesn't understand, "I can't...I can't perform in front of people. Not anymore"
"You can do anything you want to... you're one of the bravest people I know" he tells me, but it's a lie. But a sweet one, so I reach over and kiss his cheek.
"What was that for" he asks, enjoying my sweet gesture.
"For being you..." I rest my forehead against his.
"Your still not looking at my work" he adds playfully to me and I laugh.
"You're so stubborn" I moan. And I replay his words in my head. I want to play again, to feel close to my brother one more time. But I don't know if I can do it without him.