I Won't Let You Go

Letter

Kian Steve's
I was walking papunta sa school.
Wala akong gana at nakalupaypay akong pumapasok.
Peste lang, buong linggong hindi pumasok si Claude.
Kaya buong linggo akong nakatulala at lumilipad ang utak.
Buong linggong Si Claude ang hinahanap at iniisip ko.
Nababaliw na nga yata ako eh.

Putang ina lang. Kung kelan ko siya mahal at gustong makasama higit kanino saka naman nawalang parang bula.

"Kian Steve?!!" Patanung na tawag sa akin mula sa gilid.

Napalingon ako at nakita ko ang walang hiyang si Caldrix na kumakaway mula sa bintana ng kotse niya.
Bumaba siya sa kotse at patakbong lumapit sa akin. May hawak siyang sobre.

Nang makalapit siya ay inakbayan niya ako kaagad.
"How have you been? Did you miss me? Or did you miss my cold blooded friend more?" Sabi niya.

"What do you want?" Sabi ko.

He became serious at ibinigay ang sobre sa akin.
He stared at me.
"You remember what I told you on the resort? You better show me what you can do. Show me your resolve Kian.. Or I won't ever give Ice to you."

Tumakbo na siya at kumaway pa bago pinaharurot ang kotse niya palayo.
Ibinulsa ko nalang ang sobre ng hindi tinitignan.
Napaisip ako at naalala ang ibinulong niya sa akin noon.

“youre jealous aren't you? I know you like Ice.. No happiness was taken by being a coward Dude. If you want him take him whether by words or by force. Because if you let Ice slip out of your hands? You'll never be able to take him back.”

That's what he said kaya natahimik ako.
I wanted to shout at him but I couldn't because his words are full of meanings.

Napahinga nalang ako ng malalim at pumasok sa school.
The class was about to start when an announcement rang all over the school from the speakers on every classroom.
"All School Council Officers.. We will be having an urgent meeting. Please proceed to the SC office now."

Nagmadali naman kami ni Tristan na tumayo at nagpunta sa office.
"Good morning everyone. Thank you for coming.. This is about the adjustments on the officers. Mr. President Ice Claude Jiang dropped out of the school. And even Ms. Secretary Trisha Adams. I suppose Mr Treasurer was about to as well?"
Tanung ni Secretary ng dean.

Napatingin ako kay Tristan. He smiled at me and slowly nodded.
I was schocked but I was even more shocked that Claude dropped out.
Nag karoon ng adjustments and I became the President.
Napalitan ang vice hanggang treasurer.

Pagkatapos ng meeting ay pumunta ako personally kay Dean. Pinipilit ko siya pero wala yatang balak sabihin.
"Please .. tell me the reason why Mr. Jiang left. Or where did he go at least."

The Dean looked at me.and sighed.
"You're so persistent. Fine.. I'll tell you this one even though he asked us to keep it a secret. His Father called us the last week of September. He told us that we are going to do some adjustment and send Claude's profiles and school papers to a certain Campus. So before even October started, we already sent his papers away but we let him enter school until semestral arrived.. It's already planned a month ago so stop asking anymore.. Claude pleaded me to not tell you anything so I won't break my promise. Now please go back to your class."

I left the office with my shocked face.
Plano na niyang mag drop out nunh September pa? Then what was his deal all about? Did he fucking used his time to enjoy himself before disappearing like this? Hindi man lang niya kinonsider ang mararamdaman ko? Fuck him.

Maglalakad na sana ako papunta sa room nang makapa ko yung sobre sa bulsa ko.
I looked at it and my heart throbbed when I saw who it was from.
It's from Claude.

I opened it as I lean on the tree near the alley.

Hey Kian,
  
      How have you been? For me, I have been adjusting slowly here. It wasn't easy, but I don't have a choice.
I bet you are angry at me. For leaving like that. When I decided to confess, I know that I need to leave after the month ends, that's why I asked you for that one month deal. I wanted to stay with you for that whole month at least, before I start to get over you.
       Spending that time with you was the most happiness moments in my life. It feels like I just understood what it feels like to be alive on that one month. So thank you very much for bearing with me and understanding.
I was very happy and grateful when you accepted the deal. And I will cherish the memories for my whole life even after we walk on our own paths in life. For that short time I've known you.. I was very thankful that you became a part of my life. I love you.. And I won't forget you.. Even until the moment I will tell you I loveD you in a past tense. Thank you very much and I'm sorry for bothering you..
You will always be a precious memory that will stay with me..
Goodbye..
                                                 -Claude

I almost crumpled the letter. Of course I'm mad! He always does what he fucking wants.
Saying he love me. Dragging me in the deal. Leaving me hanging. And now what.. He wants to move on and make me just a piece of his fucking memories? Don't fucking mess with me.

Tinignan ko ang address mula sa sobre at saka ito itinapon sa basurahan.
He wants me to be a memory? Just a memory? At ano daw? He'll get over me hanggang sa araw na magawa niyang sabihin sa akin na Minahal niya ako?

I gritted mg teeth and was walking back with my heavy steps.
Don't joke with me Claude..
Just you wait..
You'll see..