I Won't Let You Go

Breakdown

Ice Claude's
It's been a few month since I flew back to Britain. I haven't received any news about Kian as well.
Nandito lang ako sa Campus. Advanced classes takes long. Nag graduate na siguro ang batch ko sa Pilipinas.

I still have a few months more to endure. At higit sa lahat ay mas malaki ang pinoproblema ko ngayon.
Since I came here, hindi pa ako umuuwi at hindi ko pa nakakausap si daddy or si mommy sa kung bakit nila ako pinalipat dito.

At eto nga at tumatawag ang aking magaling na ama.
I snorted before I picked up the phone.

"Hello." Malamig kong sabi.

"This evening, I want you to come meet with us in *** restaurant. I'm going to introduce someone to you. You cannot decline and you cannot be late either." Sabi niya at pinatay ang tawag.

Demanding na nga he even have an attitude.

~~~~~

*7:49 pm.*
Nandito na ako sa restaurant na sinasabi ni dad. I was still wearing my uniform as I enter.

"Do you have any reservation sir?" Tanung ng staff na sumalubong sa akin.

"I'm Ice, My Father Richmond Jiang is inside?" Tanung ko.

"I'm very sorry young master, this way please." Sabi pa niya bago ako sinamahan papunta sa kinaroroonan nina dad.

I immediately raised a brow when I saw him and my mother talking to a pair of couple and a young lady about my age.

I immediately sat down on one of the chairs.
I remained silent as I glance on them alternately, asking them why they called me here.

"This is my son, Ice Claude Jiang.. He'll be finishing his studies soon enough.." Sabi ni mommy.

"It's so great to meet such a young and handsome boy like your son personally. Mr. Ice Jiang, this is my daughter, Beatrice Tailer. She's a year older than you though." Sabi ng babae sa harap ko.

"Ice, this our Mr. And Mrs. Tailer, the owner of one of the most Successful Group of Companies next to ours." Sabi ni daddy.

Tumango lang ako at nakipagkamay.
Salita sila ng salita habang wala kaming pakialam nung Beatrice sa sinasabi nila until a statement made the both of us shriek in shock.

"Then, why don't we talk about the marriage of Ice and Beatrice?" Tanung ni mommy.

"What?!" Sabay na sigaw namin ni Beatrice.

"You heard it right." Pagsalo ni daddy.

"I'm not going to marry anyone! And not someone who's younger than me!" Galit na sigaw ni Beatrice.

"Neither am I!" Pagsigunda ko sa sinabi niya while we're glaring at our parents.

"Ice! You don't have the right to complain! I told you already didn't I?! You cannot decline.. And this is the least thing you can do for this family!" Sigaw ni daddy.

"Oh yeah? Why are you stating the obvious? I didn't have a single right since I was born.. And least thing? Wow! Big word!" Naiiyak kong sabi sa kanya.

The family infront of us already left dragging and scolding Beatrice.
We are the only one left here. Good thing this was a VIP room. A secluded soundproof room.
"You don't have the right to-"

I interrupted him.
"Ever since I was young, I have lived my whole life to your expectations. I did everything you asked. Worked my ass off to satisfy you all. And I never said a word. I never asked for anything but your love and attention."
Sabi ko.

Sumabat naman agad si mommy.
"Love and attention? You're asking way too much! Haven't we gave you more than enough?!"

"More than enough?! I haven't felt anything! How nice it would be! To be as smart and skilled like Ace.. Whether he's the real son or not he was loved.. It's fine.. I won't ask you for anything.. I already gave up on asking you not to forbid me from my right to be loved by the father and mother I longed for.. But please don't take away the only thing that gives me hope to continue living.. My happiness that is.. If you still insist on the marriage, don't bother.. Just send someone to kill me, with that.. I would even thank you for it." Walang sabit kong sabi at tinitigan silang maigi.

I don't care if my face was stained with tears. If my appearance was more than unsightly. I don't have time to think about it.
I stood up a minute later and bowed deeply.

To the parents who were always next to me yet so far. To them whom I always see everyday yet still longed for. To the parents that I hated the most yet love the most at the same time.
The moment I turned my back on them, I gave up the single slither of hope that I held on for so many years.
That almost invisible string of hope that they'll notice me someday.

I left the restaurant. I wanted to look back because strangely, they were too quiet even after having me talk and stare at them. They didn't even cursed my name as they try to stop me from leaving.

It doesn't matter anymore. I don't expect them to keep me as their son or support me in anyway.. I should be prepared.
Or maybe pray to ask for forgiveness for all my sins dahil baka i massacre nila ako ngayong gabi.

I went straight to one of the bars of Clay. My brother's friend. I ordered for something to drink from the bartender. Habang umiinom ay nakatulala lang ako sa kawalan until a voice sounded beside me. "Ice? what are you doing here? are you okay?" tanung niya.

I looked at him and smiled faintly as I drank the remaining liquor in my glass. "Of course I am. why wouldn't I be?" tanung ko sa kanya.

"Liquor won't help you solve your problems. It may help you forget it but it was still there. It's better to think about problems clear headed." sabi niya.

"I know. thank you for your concern." sabi ko at nagsalin ulit ng alak.

I heard him sigh as he shook his head. Clay Hyun was a very good looking and smart guy like my brother. Despite being 21, he's already managing many branches of his own business as he help in his parent's. He's kind and a cool guy kaya nagkagaanan kami ng loob the moment na ipinakilala siya ni kuya. He's been a good brother figure as well.

I looked at my phone when it vibrated but I didn't answered it when I saw who it was. I don't have a plan of talking to them just to be scolded and be forced to apologize. Nakakapagod narin kasi.. gusto kong makahinga ng maluwag kahit minsan lang. I feel so suffocated all this years. I just want to breathe.