I Won't Let You Go

The only exception

Kian Steve's
I smiled the brightest I could manage, "Sure, I'll appreciate it."

Naglakad na kami pababa ng building namin.
Habang naglalakad kami ay kung saan saan na naman napadpad ang utak ko. Napailing nalang ako at tumingin sa katabi ko.

"Hey Claude. Are you A Filipino-Korean?"
Tanong ko.

He glanced at me and tumingin ulit sa harap, "No. American- Korean. British to be exact."

Napangiti naman ako.
"Really? Then we're the same. How come napadpad ka dito sa Pilipinas?"

"I came here as an exchange student when I was in first year. When My lawyer processed my papers, after I ended my Third year, I transferred school."

"So you're alone here?" Tanung ko.

"I'm currently living with my adopted brother."
Sagot naman niya.

I nodded slightly.
"You must be missing your parents. Like I do."
Sabi ko.

Napatigil siya sa paglalakad sa tanung ko kaya naman napatingin ako sa kanya.
"Are you okay?"

Tumango siya at hindi na nagsalita.
After ng ilang minuto ng katahimikan ay napatingin ako sa isang coffee shop.
I checked my time, "Are you in a hurry?"

He looked at me, "Not really. Why?"

I pointed the coffee shop.
"I don't want to go home just yet. Mind joining me?"

He shook his head kaya hinila ko na siya papunta sa coffee shop.
When we entered, all of them looked at us and some even screamed.
Even the employees are staring at us.
I could almost see their eyes in a heart shape while staring at us dreamily.

Napangiti naman ako at umupo na kami sa may bandang glass wall.
We ordered a coffee and a slice of cake.

"How about you? How long have you been here?" Biglang tanung ni Claude.

Tumingin ako sa kanya at nangalumbaba as I play with my food.
"12 years? I came here with my godmother. My mom's bestfriend when I was five."

He nodded, "no wonder you miss your parents."

I chuckled, "well, four years is long too. You must have made a lot of friends right?"

He shook his head, "admirers maybe, haters maybe. But I only made one friend. He's the only one who dared to approach me, play pranks on me, tease me, piss me off, makes me mad and violent."

I laughed, "and you call him a friend? All of what you described him as were all negative."

He smiled slightly that made me froze and blink a lot of times.
But he is really smiling although hindi ganun kastretched yung labi niya.
"But he's the only one who made me feel like I wasn't alone, made me smile, made me enjoy my life a bit. The only one who accepted me."

I stared at him.
"You're making it sound like you're a person who's being judged and rejected."

He shook his head once more, "Hindi naman sa ganun. Let's say.. He's the only one who was able to see through my mask and accepted what he saw beyond it."

I froze from his statement. I suddenly felt something itched inside my chest.
Ako kaya.. When will I meet someone who will be able to see through my mask and comfort me?
Someone who will make me show my emotions without hiding any of it inside?
Baka kasi mapuno ako ng sobra at sa oras na sumabog ako ay hindi ko kayanin. I'm a guy. Yes I am.. But I'm just a human.

"You and Tristan reminds me of him."

Napakurap ako at napa huh?

He shook his head with gentleness on his eyes, "I said You and Tristan reminds me of my friend. You're so close."

I smiled, "well. Tristan has been my best friend ever since I came here. And aside from him, wala na akong ibang kaibigan. And we are neighbors so it was quite convenient for us to get closer."

He nodded, "You look different when you're talking with him."

I looked at him confused, "what do you mean?"

He stared at me intently. His eyes are so beautiful and so chilling that it almost feel like I was being drowned.
He spoke one word at a time while staring at me in the eye.
"You... Like.. Him."

I froze. I was shocked. I was surprised. I was dumbfounded. I was taken aback. Name it. But I totally got my tongue cut out. I wasn't able to produce a single word as I stare at him with my widened eyes.

How..

How did he know?

He was just here for two days..

He just met Tristan yesterday..

He just saw the two of us converse casually earlier..

And yet...

In that short period of time.

He was able to unfold the feelings I have been keeping within my mask for almost 4 years?

Why?

How?

He smiled at me. Yeah he literally smiled. His lips was stretched. I thought he was going to tease me but.. The smile he was giving me right now.. Was so gentle, consoling, heartwarming..
Like he was saying, it will be alright.
That it's okay..

At once, my tears fell.
I don't know what's happening but I suddenly burst out.
My heart feels weird and my mind was hazy.
I don't know.. It's just that, my tears are flowing continuously.
Not minding the people in the coffee shop, Claude transferred to the seat next to me and hugged me.

He pushed my head, burying it on his chest as he patted my back.

After an hour, here we are at the park not far from the coffee shop.
Staring at the river and the thousands of lights coming from the city across it.

Our school was located at the end of the city that's why.

"How did you find out?"
Nagtatakang tanung ko sa kanya.

He sighed and looked up at the sky.
It wasn't that late but there are a few stars scattered at the sky already.

"Your eyes are glistening like diamonds when you are staring or talking at him.
But that glisten was being blur because of the unknown sadness clouding your eyes."
Sagot niya.

"Stop with the figure of speech. Answer me literally. How? I was able to act it out for 4 years without a single soul knowing."
Sabi ko at tinignan na siya.

"Don't get me wrong. You are indeed a great actor. In all of those people's points of view, you were a charming and supportive friend for Tristan. And you were handsome and friendly on top of that. You can fool them all. Fool the rest of the world without any difficulty.. But I am the only exception."
Sagot niya at tumingin sa akin ng diretso.

"And why is that?"- Tanong ko

He stared at me again and after a moment he smiled.. With sadness?
" I can read you like an open book. Pretenders always recognize their own kind.
I can see through you.. Because we're the same, is what I mean. We are the same.. Putting on an act to hide the fragile and delicate secrets you have. Because you don't want to get rejected. To be judged. To hurt others.. But on top of that.. You don't want to be hated and lose that sliver thread that keeps you together."

I stared at him.
"Then tell me, what were you hiding?"

He smiled and shook his head, "that's... A secret."