Emotional Context

Life without them

JOHN'S POV

It had been a little over 24 hours since Sherlock and Lizzie...they..y'know. I've been sitting in my usual spot at Baker Street just staring at Sherlock's chair. He'd never sit there again... Mrs. Hudson had been downstairs crying most of the times, the sounds of her sobs making their way upstairs. I still couldn't believe it..

I continued to replay yesterday's events in my head until my phone rang. Should I answer? Shouldn't I? Letting out a long sigh, I slowly picked it up and answered.

"Hello?"

"John..." It was Molly. "Hi..I-I need you to come down to St. Bart's."

"Why? I-I don't know if I can come back there.." I admitted.

"I know it's hard, but they...they want a family member to come down to get Liz and Sherlock's  belongings.." I listened as she began to cry on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry.."

"Okay..I'll be there soon." I hung up the phone and slowly got up to put my coat on. God, am I really doing this? After getting myself a cab I arrived at St. Bart's and went into the morgue.

"I'm sorry you have to do this.." Molly walked over to me, engulfing me into a hug. "I tried to s-"

"It's fine, Molly. I-I need to see them anyway. Maybe Lizzie first.."

She just gave a small nod and went over, pulling away the sheet to reveal Lizzie. She was pale, so pale.. You could clearly see where she had been stabbed. Seeing her like this was one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen.

"John.."

"I-I...I should have been able to save them.. I should have seen this coming with Moriarty.."

"John, you couldn't have known this would happen..None of us did."

"But I should have! With Anderson and Donovan trying to blame Sherlock, it was all part of the plan." I began to cry. How was I supposed to live without them? I lost the two people who mean the most to me.

Molly came over and pulled me into a hug. "John..just breath. I'm here."

I couldn't say anything. What do I even say? I can't even think straight.

"Maybe you should just go home, have some tea and relax."

I gave a small nod.

"Here's their bag of belongings.." She walked across the morgue, grabbing a bag from the table and bringing it back over. "I-I tried to clean most of the blood off of it..."

I stared at the bag for a moment. Inside was her cellphone, wallet, keys, her birthmother's necklace that she always wore, her government/Scotland Yard work IDs, and her wedding ring. Also in there was Sherlock's phone and his scarf—it was stained with blood. Slowly I took her phone out. There were her usual notifications. Typing in the passcode (Sherlock had blabbed the one day as to what it was—it was the date that they met) I unlocked it. I couldn't help but smile while looking at her home screen, it was a photo of the three of us from the wedding.

"Thanks, Molly.."

"You know you can call me if you need anything."

"I know." I tried to give a weak smile. "I'll talk to you later."

With that I left Bart's and went back to Baker Street. When I arrived I slowly made my way up the stairs to the flat. I could hear the floor creak—I knew who that had to be.

"I should have known you'd show up soon." I turned to Mycroft as I walked in.

"Given the circumstances of the situation I felt that there were a few things we needed to discuss." He looked me over, staring down at the bag of Lizzie's things. "I see you just went to St. Bart's."