Just Her (Lisa X Unnamed)

43

A:     The point of view of the main character who must be the one you've been waiting for. Sorry for lateness.

💎💎💎

- Lisa

There's nothing to do tonight...
But to regret all the things I've done, to reflect on my decisions in life, to consider how much I've turned to be the person I hated the most.

I want to blame them for causing these things right now; Taehyung, Jennie, Yoongi... the three of them are the main reasons why all of these are in a mess...

But as I think of it deeper and deeper, I'll just fall to one sentence.

This part of my sufferings...
Is not their fault anymore.

They are not present, they are not involve. Although it's them who gave me all the insecurities and the reason to live in an upside down way of how I lived before they had come to my life, what happened now isn't their fault.

I fully understand...
That what I did, is my own act.
Just like what I said it before to Taehyung and Jennie, it's them who decided to do it.

They are mature and old enough to think what is right and what is wrong, same thing goes to me. And it's such a shame that my own words...

Are coming back to me.

Things that had happened in the past made me lose my interest in love, made me change my mind about romantic relarionship, made it rough for me to trust people. It distant me from the world, it prevents me to be the same person I had been before things happened.

I have the choice; be good or be bad, be kind or be heedless, live in the life that is full of sorrow or trust people to help me get out from the pain.

The decision was mine. I should use my brain to consider the events after taking one option in each, I should think how it may affect not only me but also the people around me. I should consider everything before doing anything...

I should remember which is the right choice and which option will lead me in to despair.

People call me smart, strong and a very independent woman and yet... I did things contradicting to what I am before.

I chose the wrong path, I took steps on the path of easy pleasure and had reached to the site of forever regret. It was me who's at fault this time. My best friend must be questioning as to how I've done after experiencing the almost same thing.

"What have you done..."

My eyes shut close at my own question. I didn't just messed up, because I ruined everything, I ruined myself, her and our relationship.

"That's what made the bed sheet dirty,... your soul to be stained."

My lips quiver when I heard Jimin's voice echoing within my system. It's true, now I already got the whole point of what he said before...