Coffee and Tears (ON-GOING)

CAT 22

A/N:

Definitely my favorite chapter of Coffee and Tears. Happy reading!

***

He grabbed me and hugged me so tight.

Tuluyan nang tumulo yung mga luha ko. I bite my lower lip to avoid making some noise.

Ayokong makuha yung atensyon ng mga kaklase namin.

Gusto kong maayos na ito ngayon kasi habang tumatagal mas lumalabo e.

Humiwalay siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin. He cupped my face. Kitang-kita kung gaano kalungkot at kasabik yung mga mata niya. He rubbed his thumb against my cheeks.

"Hoy, sumagot ka naman."

Halos pabulong ko ng usal.
Mas lalo kasi akong inaatake ng anxiety ko kapag ganyan na tahimik lang siya. I need reaction from him!

I know that his action must be something. I mean, he actually hugged me, but I want him to put it into words para magkaalaman na.

Binasa niya yung labi niya. Mas lalo ko tuloy gustong hilahin siya palapit sa akin at halikan siya. But I know that I should not let my demons controlled me over this matter. Ngayon lang kami nag-usap ng hindi nagsisigawan at nagsasakitan.

"I never not want you. I never not love you."

Parang may nagtatambol sa loob ng puso ko dahil rinig na rinig ko yung lakas ng tibok nito. At parang may mga paru-parong nagliliparan sa loob ng tiyan ko. Ganito ba? Ganito ba yung reaksyon nila dahil sinabi ng hari nila na mahal pa din ako nito?

I held my breathe when he lifted up my chin.

Balak niya ba akong patayin sa titig niya??

Humigpit ang kapit ko sa bewang niya.

"When you're gone, it looks like everything is black. It's lifeless. A day without you was so empty. I always miss you but I opted not to call you or to look at your eyes because I don't want to bother you and stop you if you really want to move on from our past."

"Pero ayokong mag-move on sa 'yo..."

I replied.

Tears are starting to fall from his eyes. Damn it.

"Just a mere look at your eyes makes me feel hurt. Naiinis ako kasi pinakawalan ko yung pagkakataon kong makita ang sarili ko sa mga mata mo na punung-puno ng kasiyahan kapag tinitingnan mo ako."

He heaved a deep sigh and I was so tempted to touch his adam's apple when it moves up and down.

"You kept on saying before that you feel love when you look at me. But now, it feels like you feel so broken when you look at my way. Bakit nga naman ba hindi? Eh gago ako."

I pressed my lips. He observed that too.

"I'm sorry for letting your hopes down. I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry for being the reason behind your tears. I'm sorry for being me."

I shook my head and began to wipe the tears running down his cheeks.

Bakit ba palagi niyang sinisisi ang sarili niya? Parehas kaming may mali. Parehas kaming nagpalamon sa emosyon namin. Parehas kaming nagpadala sa galit nung gabing yun. Parehas kaming nakapagsabi ng masasakit na salita at parehas kaming nakagawa ng maling desisyon.

Hindi lang siya.

I looked at his eyes intently.

"Sorry din kasi hindi ako nakinig sa 'yo. Sorry kasi hindi ako nagtiwala sa 'yo."

I smiled at him.

"Tapos na yun e. Pwede bang magsimula ulit tayo? I promise this time I will love you better.."

Hinding-hindi ko na gagawin yung mga pagkakamali ko dati. If ever.... if ever there is a second chance, I want this to work out better than the first try and I will do everything to make it last, this time.

Kasi siya talaga yung end game e. Nararamdaman ko talaga na siya na yung para sa akin. He's the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.

"I don't care if there is Ely between us. It might sound so stupid to ruin her but I don't want to ruin my own happiness."

Wala akong pakialam kung sino pa yung pumagitna sa amin, hinding-hindi ko na siya bibitawan at wala na akong balak na pakawalan pa siya ulit. Not now when I heard from him that he never not love me.

Ayoko ng maramdaman ulit yung sakit at kakulangan nung nawala siya sa akin.

Minsan naiisip ko kung dati pa ba ako may gusto sa kanya noong humingi siya ng papel sa akin.

Kutob ko kasi, yun na din yung simula ng paghingi niya ng papel sa buhay ko. Magmula noon, hindi na ako matahimik. Palagi kong inaabangan na kausapin niya ako, na tingnan niya ako, na lapitan niya ako.

Naeexcite ako kapag andyan siya. In-denial lang talaga ako dati. I didn't know I was also capable of cheating because kahit na may Gustin pa ako noon, nagsisimula na pala akong mahulog kay Oliver.

I always believed that it takes a lot of time to develop strong feelings for someone.. It's a process but he ruined my faith. He made me fall inlove with him in just a short period of time.

He lowered his face. I closed my eyes and the next thing I felt was that his lips were landed on mine.

Hindi siya gumagalaw, he just pressed his lips on mine which makes my heart beats faster and louder. I managed to put my hands on his chest and I was surprised when I felt that his heart also beats faster like mine.

Parang nag-aawitan yung mga puso namin. Ang tagal kong hinintay na mangyari ulit 'to. Ang tagal kong inasam na mapunta siya ulit sa akin.

He brole the kiss and began to speak.

"You always made things easier for me. Sobrang swerte ko talaga kasi pinatunayan mong kahit gago ako, may magmamahal pa din pala sa akin ng totoo at nanatili ka sa tabi ko kahit pa nagawa kitang saktan. Mahal na mahal kita Jelena Francisco."

Fuck. I tightened my grip on his arms. He called me in my full name and it sounds so.. different. Ibang-iba yung epekto kumpara kapag sila Jolie ang nagbabanggit ng pangalan ko.

"You made me want you even more. You never failed to make me feel so special."

I tiptoed and gave him a quick kiss on his lips.

"Jerk. You deserve that."

A smile dawned on his beautiful face.

"And you also deserve to be love truly. Let's.. Let's do it again.."

"What?" I teased.

He rubbed his pointed nose against mine.

"Taking risks. Let's start again. This time, let's make it last forever.."

I nodded.

We both know that nothing is constant, nothing last forever but we will do our own version of forever.

And I hope that this time, every thing will fall into its own place.

"I love you too."

I happily said wishing he would never get tired hearing those words from me because I will never get tired reminding him that he's my universe.

TO BE CONTINUED