Coffee and Tears (ON-GOING)

CAT 25

I re-read this and  found many typo errors, rest assured na ieedit ko ito soon. But for now, I'm writing new chapters. Thank you!

-r.a.

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"Ji.."

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

I forced my eyes to open and I met his gaze.

"Mahal din kita."

Hindi ko ibibigay yung sarili ko sa kanya kung hindi ko siya mahal. More than that, I trust him, so much.

He gave me a quick kiss on my forehead.

"Oliver, you're making me happier. Nakakatakot na."

Hindi ko mapigilan na huwag sabihin yung kanina pa gumugulo sa isipan ko.

He laid his head on the headboard of his bed and I did the same thing. I pulled the bedsheets to hide my flesh. Nahihiya pa rin naman ako sa kanya kahit pa nakita naman na niya ang lahat-lahat.

He heaved a deep sigh then he looked at me.

I know, it's my cue to tell him what's bothering me.

I tried to hide my fingers which are badly shaking in so much fear.

"Sobrang pinapasaya mo ako, at alam kong mahal mo ako, walang pagdududa doon."

I reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"At yun yung nakakatakot. Kasi sobrang saya natin. Natatakot ako na baka bawian tayo. Na baka biglang mawala yung saya tapos mapalitan ng lungkot. We are never sure of what the future holds between us, Oliver."

I explained. His mouth slightly opened and I saw the seriousness on his eyes.

He took a deep breathe and it makes me even more uncomfortable.

He lost eye contact on me. Fuck.

"Tingin mo ba iiwan kita kasi nakuha na kita?"

He asked. His tone demanded a quick answer but I cannot speak up. Hindi ako makasagot.

Kasi oo pinagkakatiwalaan ko siya kapag sinasabi niyang mahal niya ako kasi ramdam ko naman yun. Pero hindi ko maiwasang magdoubt na baka magsawa siya tapos iwan niya ako. He had a reputation of being a womanizer. He was known of leaving his girlfriends once he already slept with them. I heard a lot of that. People were talking about us. Hindi ko maiwasang pakinggan kasi pakiramdam ko sinasadya talagang iparinig sa akin. Na paano kung ako naman daw ang pinakabago sa koleksyon niya?

People are judgmental but I guess truth hurts.

Ano nga bang alam ko sa nakaraan niya? Ni hindi nga siya nagkukwento tungkol sa mga dati niyang nakarelasyon at walang bakas nila sa pagkatao niya. Ni sa social media accounts niya wala sila. I'm never sure what kind of past he has.

I knew that I still have to know him more. He was still an enigma. Pero paano mo nga ba makikilala yung taong hindi ka naman pinapapasok sa mundo niya?

May nangyari na sa amin pero pakiramdam ko ang layo-layo pa rin namin sa isa't isa. Pakiramdam ko kulang pa yung pagmamahal ko sa kanya para i-open niya yung sarili niya sa akin.

Seconds past, he realized I couldn't give him a damn answer and I felt sorry for that.

"You said you trust me. I don't need a half-assed trust Ji."

"Masisisi mo ba ako? Nakita ko kung paano mo iniwan si Ely."

Alam kong hindi ko dapat sinabi yun kasi sensitive spot pa din yun sa aming dalawa pero huli na para bawiin ko pa iyon. Alam kong magagalit siya sa sinabi ko.