You've Been The Change (Lauren Cimorelli)

painting walls

Tour. It's starting in about 2 months.

I am a kid. With a girlfriend who is a world famous.

I've been reached out to by many record labels and I refused to even talk about a contract. I didnt want this! I didnt want this fucking life!

And the worst fucking part is that it's going to go through my summer and soccer season. The only things I was hyped to share with Lauren.

I stood up and went into my spare room. I can't fucking believe I was so stupid to think that this summer would be fun. No. Lauren will be having fun and I'll be her dumb girlfriend waiting for her to get back.

My fist slammed into the closest wall to me. I can't miss her. And I can't fucking wait. I can't wait! My fists started slamming harder and faster.

My blood started painting my white walls. Fuck. I can't miss her! She's going to forget about me and Im just going to be looking stupid sitting and waiting for her!

I can't believe I was so stupid for letting myself get attached. I was fucking stupid! The wall slowly caving in. Almost giving out. "I'm so fucking stupid" I continued to yell and hit the wall even harder.

I heard knocking and my knee fell weak. I dragged my fists down my wall. Sobbing as I looked down into my lap. I rested my head on the now red painted wall.

I heard the front door open. My sobbing for worse. "I can't fucking do it anymore! It hurts!" I scream.

I felt Lauren wrapped her body around me and hold me tight. My crying somehow got even louder if that's even possible. Watching the blood pour out of my hands.

I couldn't stop crying. It felt like hours. Even though it was merely a few mintues. "I'm here Asher. I'm always here"

"But you wont be! You'll be gone doing whatever you want for over half a year! While I'll just be sitting here! I probably won't be able to take you to fucking prom! The one thing I planned for my senior year! You won't be here!" I scream and punched the wall again.

Watching the blood cover my fist mark. "I know. But it's my job baby"

I found a way to stand up and walked to the kitchen without any feelings. I felt numb. Like the way I was before her. It's comforting. I might just stay like this.

"Your job hurts." Those being the only words from the fallen lips that once smiled looking at her. But I couldn't smile looking at her. I was hurt. I couldn't smile at anything.

She placed her hand on the small of my back while I washed my hands. I rolled my eyes.

"I know. But we are stronger than it."

"I don't think I am."

Her hand drops and I heard her breathing stop.

I look back at her and she was looking as my countertop. "You're breaking up with me huh"

I snapped my head to look at her. "No. But I don't think we will last your tour."

She turned me to look at her. I tried to not look at her but she pulled my face down to look at her. And I broke. My eyes started to fill with tears again. I was hurting her thinking like this.

I wrapped my arms around her shoulder and pulled her into and we both cried out onto each other. "I love you so much Lauren. Don't forget about me. Please. I beg you. If you forget about me for a second this whole relationship will tumble."

She nodded in my chest and promised me over and over.

"I want you to know. I will fight for you. Everyday. No girl will cross my mind Lauren. I am all yours. But please notice. I will do everything for you. Please do the same"