You've Been The Change (Lauren Cimorelli)

idontwannabeyouanymore

I sat watching the girls preform their set. They all seemed as at element that it makes me so happy.

I smiled at them. I haven't smiled like this in months. I grimace at the way I felt before seeing the girls again.

I looked down at my phone as Troye texted me. Saying he wanted to me release a new song. And I knew I couldn't say no to my best friend.

I went to Apple music and choose my most recent song I recorded. Setting it as public. Meaning people got notifications that I released a song.

Troye spammed me with text saying thank you and that he needed to go listen to it.

The girls started their last song on the encore set list. I listened. Falling back in love with their music.

"Asher released a new song!"

I widden my eyes hearing a fan yelling. She continued yelling it to the girls and jumping up and down. "Wait hold on" Dani spoke into the mic and the music stopped.

My heart dropped. No. Not now. It's literally been not even 2 mintues. "What were you saying?"

Dani pulled out one of her ears and bent down the crowd. The crowd yelled and she shushed them down. I think Dani heard because she grabbed the girls phone and looked at Lauren.

"Looks like a little Asher we know released a song"

Dani stood up and walked over to Lauren who was confused. She showed her the phone and Lauren grabbed it. She walked over to the sound guys and I stood up off the box.

I got scared quickly. She better not be doing what I think she's doing. She nodded and walked back to the girl handing the girl her phone back.

"Sorry for this break but I need to hear this song right about now." Lauren laughing into the mic and I shook my head. She looked over at me and I mouthed no.

It was a personal song and I didn't want it ruining the girls mood or concert.

She put a finger up to her lips and raised her eyebrows at me. I groan and just nodded.

If teardrops could be bottled
There'd be swimming pools filled by models
Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore
If "I love you" was a promise
Would you break it, if you're honest
Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before
I don't wanna be you anymore

The chorus rang through the stadium. I heard screaming and people who yelled my name. I now understood why people wanted the fame.

It made them feel wanted.

She girls all stood there in silence. The all took in the lyrics and the music. I watch as Lauren whipped away a stray tear and ducked my head. I turn and walk out of the area I was at.

I didnt want Lauren knowing how I felt. I didnt want her crying. I couldn't watch her cry.

I felt objectified being relevant. The words people said hurt and the things they call you hurt. Nobody was happy. Nobody is fucking happy anymore!

We are spectacles in everyone else's eyes. We are cold blooded basically.

I turn and look to find a hallway that was empty. I start breathing heavily and I start panicking. I didnt want to be this girl that I am.

"Asher?"

I heard someone calling my name. But it seemed in the far distance.

I slide my way down a wall. Making my way to grip at my jeans and watched my hands twitch. Tears filling my eyes and my breathing becoming worse and worse.

"Stop Asher look at me"

Lauren grabbed my face and hand me look at her. I tried looking away and moving my head out of her hands but she wouldn't let me. "Stop struggling just look at me."

My looked at her in her eye. My worst mistake. The golden orbs trapped me again. "Follow my breathing."

I watch her inhale and exhale. I tried and followed. I was waiting for her to become impatient but she didn't.

She just did it over and over. I slowly got ahold of the concept and I pushed my head back on the wall and listened to her breathing. I tried to listen and follow.

Her hands falling to my knees, she seems scared that I was upset with her. I wasn't. I was more upset at the world.

Why did it have to make me the way I. Why did I have to be different but fall in categories I never wanted to be placed in.

I placed my hand over hers. "I love you Lauren. I always will"

She said she lived me back. But I only grined at the statement. I suddenly felt so tired an exhasted from my attack.

My eyes slowly started closed before Lauren started saying no. She stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me up.

I groan and she told me to wake up. I nodded and grabbed my pack of cigarettes out. I pointed to the door and Lauren just held my hand tighter.

I knew she meant she was going to follow so I let her. We opened the door and peaked out, making sure there wasn't anymore near or anything.

I pulled one out and lit it. Letting the fumes travel through my lungs. The feeling of relief washing through me.

"You know those are bad for you" Lauren smartly commented as she watched me flick it by my side. I walked over to her and wrapped inbetween her legs as she was sitting in a railing.

"You're bad for me. But I'm still addicted." She grabbed my waist and I stepped and crushed my cigarette. She pulled me in by my neck and I bit my lip watching her examine my face.

"Never said you had to stop smoking them though."

"Wasnt planning on stopping either." I said before pressing my lips on Lauren's. My tounge slowly asking for permission to explore the way I once did.

She denied it with a smirk and I groan. "Not so easy anymore Serna." She moved off the rail and open the door. I rolled my eyes and walked through.

I knew the concert was over. At least for the girls. But they kind of kept everything the way it was because they had a concerts in 2 days.

I looked around people shutting off light and cleaning things. Lauren slipped her hand into mine and I smiled lightly.

I'm stuck for her again. What am I going to do now.

**
this was kinda a filler chapter but please understand im trying to extend then being together but also trying to get chapters out fast.

people wanted asher to have more music so this is a way to kind of do it. but i promise the next chapter will be a lot better.

thank you for all the support though!