This Time I'll Make It

App boy (2)

Kat's POV

We've been laying here just looking at the stars for a while now. He tried to hold my hand but for the first time tonight I took mine away. I don't know what he's thinking or why he keeps doing it, but nothing will happen. Not that I don't want to, but it's too soon. We haven't talked in months, if I let him do something, he'll think I'm easy. And I'm not easy.

I'm brought back to reality when I feel his body on top of mine. He sits on my hips and starts to tickle me.

"You're not getting out of here until you tell me what's on your mind. I've been calling your name for the last 10 minutes and you didn't answer, not even once. So now you're going to tell me what you were thinking about." He says laughing.

I'm laughing too and I can't take it anymore. I try to stop him and tickle him too but Liam's stronger. He grabs my wrists and holds them to the sand, one on each side of my head. His face is close enough to mine that I can feel his warm breath against my cheeks. We stare into each other's eyes and his travel to my lips from time to time.  I don't realize I'm biting my lower lip until it begins to hurt. I let go and he leans in. Our lips touch but don't kiss. Instead we just stare into each other's eyes once more before closing our eyes. He presses his lips against mine and I let him kiss me. His tongue forces my lips to part and makes its way inside my mouth, dancing with my tongue as we kiss. Liam's hands no longer are on my wrists. His left arm is placed beside my head to help him control his weight, and his right hand is on my neck, caressing it softly.  He takes his tongue out of my mouth and our kisses turn smooth. They're not urgent and needy anymore, they're gentle and full of passion now. After a while he bites my lower lip and the kiss ends.

He stares at me but his eyes look different now. I take my hand to his face but he pulls back and sits beside me before I can reach it. I sit too. I know what that look was, and I know what's coming so let's just get this over with.

"That was..." I begin.

"A mistake." He finishes for me. "It shouldn't have happened, I'm sorry." There it is.

"It's okay, we can just pretend it didn't happen, if that's what you want." I say what he wants to hear.

"Really? You don't mind?" I'm used to this so...

"No, of course not."

"Thank you..." I smile at him and don't say anything else.

"It's late, we should go." He says after a while.

"I'm gonna stay, but you go ahead." I let him know.

"Okay." He gets up. "It was nice to meet you, Kat."

I smile at him again but don't answer. He gets that something is off but doesn't say a word about it. He leaves and I stay there, looking at the waves crashing against the sand.

I don't know how much time passes before I finally decide to get up to leave. I look at my phone and it's only 1am, I thought it was much later.

You didn't cry this time, so that's a win.

My subconscious says. She's right again and that makes me smile. I'm getting better at this. Not sure if that's a win, though.

"Why are you smiling?" Luke's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"God, you scared the hell out of me." I didn't see him sitting there.

"Sorry." He smiles as he rubs the back of his head.

"What are you doing here? I thought you went home."

" I was going to, but then I realized I couldn't just leave like this."