something to do (Pavel Chekov)

10

Being patient gets harder as another three long weeks drag on. They pass the time with only one meltdown each over those weeks and manage to keep each other sane. They stick to routines and learning languages together. Pavel is getting really good at Romanian and Eadie knows just about every story Pavel has told her. He manages to find a new one for her every day about his times in Russia of things that happened to him while he was still at the academy. Eadie has many stories too but she likes hearing Pavel's more than she likes telling her own. They get their one loaf of bread, they get examined and they get tired of the same thing day in and day out.

A visitor takes Pavel this time. Eadie screams as he's dragged away and wonders if Pavel felt just as sick as she feels waiting for him. She cries at the entrance of the gates and pray that they don't hurt him. She starts hyperventilating and nearly passes out, forcing herself to breathe and calm down before she makes it worse for herself.

Eadie loses track of time and unlaces and relaces her shoes to try and keep herself busy. She sings to herself and for a while, she spends some time praying. Eadie had no set religious belief before but now she tells herself there's no harm in trying to find solace and comfort in a higher power. She finds herself at peace long enough to fall asleep.

Eadie wakes to grunting and Pavel being thrown back into the cell. She rushes over to him, her hand on his back. He looks up at her, his lip cut and his eye black.

"Pavel," she says softly. "Oh Pavel."

"They beat me. They sent it to Starfleet. I fucking hope they're listening."

"Did you get hurt anywhere else?"

Pavel lifts his shirt with a wince and reveals a few bruises on his torso. He's angry, he's tired and he wants to get out of the cell. He gets up and has a drink of water. Eadie doesn't like seeing him angry.

"Have you slept? Do you need a rest?"

He nods, sitting down on the bench and trying to slow his breathing. Eadie takes the corner and offers her lap to him, which he silently takes. He relaxes a little with her touch. She digs her nails into his hair and scratches soft circles into his scalp. He closes his eyes, appreciative of her patience with the situation and her patience with him.

Pavel wakes up feeling tired and sore. Eadie is awake and he thanks her for letting him sleep on her lap again. She smiles at him softly, leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes. She feels more drained than usual. Her period is due again and she's not looking forward to it.

After another day of routine, Pavel lays in Eadie's lap and she feels as though he has something bothering him. He can't keep still and sits up, sighing to himself.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure," she says softly, waiting as he turns to face her.

"How do you feel about me...?"

"Sorry?" She says, not entirely sure what answer he's hoping for. He shuffles uncomfortably and grips the sides of the bench.

He kisses her then, on the cheek. She has no idea why. She looks up at him and he touches his lips uncomfortably. He shakes his head, quickly apologising and moving away.

"I'm sorry," he says quickly. "I shouldn't have just... I'm... I'm really sorry. My head is all over the place. I don't know how to explain what I feel about you."

"What do you feel?"

"Something!"

"Something? Want to elaborate a little..."

Pavel runs a hand through his hair as he tries to find an answer for her. He sits down and looks her in the eyes, wishing he knew what was going on inside his own head. "Eadie... I feel something for you. I really like you but I... I don't know if I like you because I like you or if like you because of our circumstance."

"Pavel," she says softly. "I've been asking myself the same thing. I care about you so much. That won't change but I just wonder my feelings are for the same reason. We've been in here together for so long, I wonder if it's because we've only had one another or if it's just because it's you... You're such a nice guy Pavel, I can't help but feel like it's something more than the cell we're in."

Pavel's chest is constricting and he wonders if trying to talk to girls about feelings is always this painful. He takes Eadie's hands and kisses her cheek again, not freaking out this time. He pulls her in for tight hug and she squeezes him gently.

"We're in no rush to figure this out. For now, we should sleep."

"Okay," he says softly. "Goodnight, Eadie."

"Goodnight, Pavel. Try and sleep well."

He lies in her lap and stares at the ceiling a little before his eyes close. She runs her fingers through his curls and one part of him wonders if he'd ever be able to sleep without it again.

Pavel spends a lot of time thinking and Eadie can tell he's busy getting lost in his own mind. He talks a little less but his eyebrows are always knitted together. She's reasonably sure he's going over their conversation last night and she figures she should probably put some thought into it too. She's never had so much time to think before and she wonders if that's a bad thing.

Eadie gets sick on her next period and she cries for a few hours in either frustration or pain, neither of them are too sure. She snaps at Pavel and apologises right after, wishing she could do anything to feel a little less unclean. She's embarrassed and stays on the bench, not in the mood to do anything other than watch Pavel try and stretch out for a while.

"I don't want to go through another few days of this," she mumbles. "I want this to stop. I want something for the pain or anything..."

"Can I do anything to help you? I've only given you my jacket but if you want my bread you can have that as well..."

"Your company and jacket are more than enough. I'm sorry for being like this. I'm sorry for complaining all the time."

"I think complaining makes it easier to get by. Especially when you have someone to complain with."

"I want a hot shower. I want to wash the grease from my hair and shave. My legs are like a damn forest, I never thought I'd miss shaving. I want to binge eat hot food and go to sleep in a real bed for days and days. I want to wear comfortable clothes and burn these ones as soon as I take them off."

"It's going to be odd going back to the real world. We've barely been more than ten feet apart for months now... I can't imagine not having you right by me... Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't mean..."

Eadie tries to tell him not to worry. She hasn't thought about that yet. He has a point, they've been so close for so long now she wonders what would happen after getting back onto a starship. She can't imagine not sharing her quarters with him, she can't imagine being far away from him.

They talk about food again and for a long while too. Pavel seems focused on sweets and Eadie just wants something warm and filling. She thinks of a noodle dish or pasta, something full of flavour. Pavel pictures a milkshake and cake, thinking of something rich and horribly unhealthy. Eadie shuffles a little and wonders when Starfleet will hurry up and rescue them.

"They're coming back for us... Right Pavel? They're coming back..."

"Da, Eadie. They'll get us out of here."