something to do (Pavel Chekov)

41

They fall asleep together and get woken up my more visitors entering the cell. They sit up, a little dazed. Eadie gets held down and Pavel gets held back, helplessly trying to push himself free. They scan Eadie, looking at their tricorders and muttering to each other. They pull out a hypo and jab Eadie in the abdomen. She squeals and Pavel has to look away.

They leave and Eadie throws up from stress. Pavel holds her hair back and tries to calm her down. She goes to tell him that she's scared and she stutters trying to get the words out. He kisses her hands and keeps telling her that she'll be okay. One part of them wonders if they're strong enough to make it through a second time.

Eadie tries to talk to Pavel again and finds her words still unable to leave her mouth. She keeps tripping over sounds and pausing. Pavel signs to her and she decides that that might be the easiest way to communicate for the time being. She seems defeated and he wonders if it's a temporary thing or not.

They stretch a little together again and Eadie suddenly stands up. She looks panicked and Pavel takes her hands, asking what's wrong. She shakes her head and yellow lights start to swirl around her.

"Eadie!" Pavel calls, watching her eyes meet his before she fades.

"Eadie!! Eadie come back!!" He calls, falling to his knees. He can't breathe. He looks to his hands waiting for the same yellow lights but they don't appear.

Back on the Enterprise, Eadie is screaming at McCoy in the transporter room. She's screaming at her to get him too and McCoy tells her they're working on it. Her body is shaking and she shakes her head, unable to process what's going on in her head.

"Eadie," McCoy says gently. "We'll get him too. You just need to calm down. We'll get him too, I promise."

She gestures at McCoy's PADD and he passes it to her, watching her typing out a note. Her hands are shaking and it takes her longer than she'd like it to.

They were going to let him leave. He stayed so I wouldn't have to be alone in there. Now he's alone and I'm up here safe. Get him back, Doctor.

"We'll get him back. He's just a little harder to lock onto than you. We need to look after you and we'll bring him over as soon as he's back."

McCoy gives her a gel pack and puts a patch on her arm. It makes her sleepy and she lays back, dozing off as McCoy gently presses a hypo into her shoulder.

Pavel loses it in the cell by himself. He throws the box that normally has the bread in it against the bars and keeps throwing it until it cracks into smaller pieces. He's not an angry person. He's a patient man. He's gentle and he's kind. He's lost in thought and lost in concentration. He picks up the largest piece of the box and pegs it against the cell wall. It shatters into smaller pieces and he feels himself shatter with it. He considers ending it then. One of the pieces looks sharp enough to slit this throat. His brain is screaming at him.

IRRATIONALIRRATIONALIRRATIONALIRRATIONALIRRATIONALIRRATIONALIRRATIONALIRRATIONAL

He screams back.

He takes the sharp piece and runs it across his finger and breathes out as a thick red comes out from his fingertip. It would be so easy. It would be so quick. He wouldn't have to worry about seeing Eadie again in this life. He could meet with her in the next and die in peace. He taps the box piece against his leg. He thinks of all the things he promised Eadie. He has every intention of marrying her one day. He imagines taking her somewhere quiet and forgetting the rest of the universe.

"I love you," he whispers. He puts the shard down and thinks of her.