something to do (Pavel Chekov)

27

Pavel is awake before Eadie and eating porridge in the kitchen. It has a questionable amount of chocolate added to it. She comes over to join him and starts on a piece of toast, sitting beside him and asking if he slept alright.

"I think so," he nods. "I had an odd dream. It's all I can think about."

"And what exactly were you dreaming about? Can you tell me?"

"It was us," he says softly. "We didn't say anything. You were just signing to me but they were signs I didn't recognise. You saw that I couldn't understand what you were signing and would try again but I had no idea what you meant. I wrote down what I can remember but it might have to look them up in a sign dictionary."

"How odd. I wonder if they actually mean anything. The only sign I know is what you've shown me already. Maybe there are signs you learnt as a kid that you've forgotten or something?"

"Possible, but not likely. You know what my memory is like, I don't forget things easily."

Eadie does know. He picked up Romanian quickly because he had a near perfect retention rate. She doesn't doubt his memory for a second.

For a few hours, Eadie and Pavel are in their own sessions and McCoy pulls Eadie aside for a little while. He needs to scan her again to check out how her body is recovering and he frowns at his screen. Eadie asks what's going on and McCoy shows her the screen.

"You're growing another uterus. This one looks to be quite normal... I'm not sure whether to remove it in case your body tries to grow another or keep it there so they stop growing. I may need to put you on some hormone based medication to slow the growth but I don't know what that might do to your mood."

"You're the doctor," Eadie mutters. "I haven't felt any pain or anything."

"I asked this a while ago and I have to ask again, but you haven't had any kind of sexual contact in that area?"

She shakes her head. "No, and it won't happen anytime soon."

"So, you and Pavel aren't in that kind of relationship?"

"He's not interested."

McCoy raises an eyebrow. "And you?"

Eadie looks up. "I don't know. It's not worth me stressing him. I suggested that he could try and talk about it in a session but I don't think he will. He could barely talk to me about it. I think he only did because he was scared of dying and never telling anyone."

It goes quiet and McCoy promises to chat to him a little more. He planned to talk to Pavel earlier but never got around to it, too busy looking after his physical health and leaving the rest of it to the other mental health doctors. McCoy finds a medication for Eadie and requests that she tells him if it throws her mood off too much.

Pavel comes back out looking exhausted. Eadie wonders if he has been crying. He asks McCoy if they can go back to their room and he allows it, telling them to keep an eye on one another. They walk back and Eadie asks if he's alright in Romanian. He looks to her briefly and keeps walking. She doesn't take it as a good sign. When they get in the door, he pauses and Eadie looks at him. He sinks against the door and his lip starts quivering.

"Pav?"

He starts sobbing, hiding his face in his knees and wrapping himself in a ball. Eadie sits beside and puts a hand on his shoulder. His hands are twitching a little and she tells him to sign to her.

'AGAIN,' he signs. 'NIGHTMARE.'

She knows what the nightmare sign means when he's not talking about an actual nightmare.

"What happened?" she whispers. "Did you talk about it?"

He nods and wipes his eyes.

"Я сломан," he says, shaking a little. He says it over and over. She's heard the word before. She isn't sure what it means. She takes his arm and pulls him up, bringing him over to the bed and he looks up, shaking her arm off him and shaking his head. He heads into the bathroom and closes the door. Eadie puts her hand up against the door and says his name softly. He doesn't reply. She can still hear him sobbing.

An hour passes and Pavel doesn't come out. The sobbing stops. Eadie goes and looks up the word he was using. It means broken. He was calling himself broken over and over again. She feels exhausted herself and falls asleep on the couch.

She wakes up to Pavel crouching beside her and she says his name softly.

"I'm going to bed," he says softly. "If you-"

"I'm actually comfortable here," she says quickly. He nods and kisses his hand, placing it on her head. She gives him a weak smile and he leaves. She goes to fall back asleep and a blanket covers her.

"Goodnight," he says softly.