I waited {L.S}

1.4

There was a soft knock on my door. I sat up quickly and wiped my face while taking a deep breath. Lottie stood in the doorway, a small smile on her face. "Can I talk to you?"

I nodded, so she walked in and closed my door, then sat down on my bed, in a similar way to me. She sat there for a few seconds before nodding to herself and looking at me. "I know sign language. It's one of the things I busied myself with while you were gone." Lottie chewed on her lip for a second. "Are you just choosing not to talk?" I shook my head. "You can't talk."

I nodded, glancing down. I played with the sleeves of my hoodie again, taking a deep breath.

"Okay, this is just an idea I have. I could get like cards with pictures on them and the word, and until you're comfortable with signing and know it, you still have a way to express more than now. I can see how frustrated you're getting trying to explain, but you don't know how and it's okay."

I hesitated before nodding slowly. I did want to be able to talk with them somehow. And it had to have been getting frustrated, trying to phrase things in a way I could answer them. I couldn't talk, I couldn't spell anything I needed, I hadn't been on school or exposed to any of that since I was taken.

I still felt eleven, not seventeen. I didn't know how to act like a thirteen year old, let alone seventeen. It was a weird transition and I didn't like it.

"You'll be okay, Lou. Well figure this out, but you're not alone now. You have us, and we'll help you," Lottie assured me. "I know you're not the same. I know not everything is going to be the same. I'm trying to get Mom and Fiz to see it too, okay?"

I nodded again, not fully believing her. I thought Mom already understood I wasn't the same. If she didn't, how did Lottie see it?

6 was a soft knock on the door, and Lottie called for them to come in. My mom opened the door and stepped inside, trying to force a genuine smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Do you want to go shopping and get some new clothes?" She offered. I started shaking my head immediately. I didn't want to leave the house. Ever. I looked away from my mom for a second too long before I was taken at a store and I never wanted it to happen again.

"It'll be okay, Lou," Lottie said, putting her hand on my back. "Maybe not a store, but go on a walk maybe?"

I shrugged. I really didn't want to leave. I was finally feeling safe. If I left I wouldn't have that bubble anymore and I knew that it would happen.

"Please, Louis," Lottie begged. "You'll never know how bad it is until you do it, and you're gonna make it worse in your head."

I chewed on my lip, avoiding looking at either of them. I finally gave in, nodding slowly eventhough the idea was terrifying. Lottie smiled warmly at me and stood up. She walked into the closest and came out with a pair of shoes. She handed them to me and I stared at them for a few seconds before taking them from her grasp.

I slid them on, but before I could even start to try to fumble with the laces, my mom crouched down and took the strings, slowly tying them for me so I could just watch.

I grabbed the strings of the other one and attempted to copy what my mom had done, but kept messing it up. My mom finally set her hands over mine to stop me. I let out a long breath. I knew how to tie my shoes. I used to do it all the time. Why couldn't I fricken do it?

Lottie patted my shoulder and continued to smile. "It's all gonna come back, Louis. Don't even worry about it."

I nodded, hoping she was right. Once both of my shoes were on, we stood up. I pulled the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands and played with the tips of the sleeves while we walked to the front door.

I paused a few feet away. He is going to get so mad at me. He wouldn't want me doing this.

I started shaking my head again and took a step back. I don't want to get hurt. I have to be good. If I'm not...

"Louis," a voice called softly. I opened my eyes and looked up at my mom. "You're okay. He's never coming back.

I shook my head and put my head in my knees. I don't know when I got on the ground, but that's where I ended up. He was always going to hurt me. I was his thing. If I would actually take off my shirt in front of them, they'd see it.

I was trapped being his.

"Loubear, look at me," my mom called softly. I finally did, not bothering to wipe the tears that were staining my cheeks. "I don't care what he told you. You're home, you're safe, and I am making sure you never get put in a situation like that ever again."

I heard the twins laugh from another room, and I finally took a deep breath and forced it back out, nodding slowly. I stood up, without their offered help, and Lottie gave me a reassuring smile.

Lottie opened the door and I had to squint for a second because of the sun. I stepped out and my mom followed, closing the door. Out of old habit, I grabbed her hand before we got too far from the house, and she smiled a tiny bit.

Lottie stood on the other side of me. We started walking. I had no real idea where we were going, which was terrifying until I remembered that my mom wouldn't hurt me, and neither would Lottie.

When I noticed we started walking towards the park, I got excited. Not enough to show, though.

All of the people scared me. I stopped walking and shook my head. I didn't like people. I couldn't do this. He could be here and I wouldn't know. I took a step back and pulled my hand away from my mom's grip.

Her and Lottie both looked at me. "Hey-"

I shook my head. I hadn't been around more than four people until I got back. Even then I was mostly alone. A large amount of people scare me.

Lottie took a small step. "It's okay, we can go home now, alright? You did great, it's okay." She stepped closer to me and pulled me in for a hug. "It's okay. You're okay."