I waited {L.S}

4.2

Harry came into my room and hugged me. "Calm down. You're okay."

"I miss you," I cried, holding him tightly. "I'm sorry, I-"

"You don't have to be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have left you at all. Not without telling you. I'm so sorry." He rubbed my back and made sure that I was taking deep breaths. "I'm here now."

I nodded slowly. He was. He was here. That's what I had to focus on. Not that he was gone, just the fact he was here.

Harry pulled away and smiled at me. I chewed on my lip and looked down. "I have to go to a therapy session soon."

"I can take you," Harry offered. I nodded. I didn't know what else to say, plus Mary had been gone all morning. "When do we need to leave?"

"Thirty minutes," I told him. He nodded and then kissed my forehead.

I sat down with Dylan. "Harry's back," I blurted before he could ask anything else. "And almost everything adds up, except one."

"Okay, take a deep breath, Louis. Let's start from the beginning, yeah?" Whatever Dylan planned on, he flipped the page and positioned for new notes. "When did Harry get back?"

"I don't know. A few days ago. He came over and I pretended not to see him, but then he saw me.... So I got mad at him and told him to leave me alone. He said he didn't have his phone, which is why he wasn't talking to me, but my aunt was talking with him at night. I could hear it. She would tell him that I was okay, he didn't need to worry about me. She would try to calm him down and... He told me... He told me his dad hid his phone, so how was he calling my aunt, but not me?"

"Okay, wow, that was a lot. What do you think? Why wasn't he calling you?" Dylan leaned forward slightly.

"I don't know. And now he wants everything to be normal, but it's not. Something just isn't sitting with me right."

"I know this is the last thing you want to do, but confront Harry. You trust him, you rely on him for a majority of things. You have the right to ask him if, even if Mary doesn't know you know about the calls. You do know. And it's your right to ask."

I shifted in my seat. "What if he gets mad-"

"Louis, don't what if yourself to death. And he has no right to be mad. You just want to know why he could call your aunt, and not you."

"He said he didn't have his phone, though. He could just deny it and tell me he didn't have his phone." I chewed on my lip. "I don't want him to push me away, Dylan."

"He shouldn't. What reason would he have?"

"I'm being nosey."

Dylan gave me the look. The same one he always does whenever he knows that I'm being beyond ridiculous. "You're giving yourself a reason to push him away. That's exactly how you're holding onto it. So you can either talk to him and get a reason to help you calm down, or you can sit there, wonder about it for months on end and then feel like you can't bring it up because it happened so long ago."

I nodded slowly. "I know, I know. It's just complicated. I want everything to be up front."

"It's getting there, Louis. And people are always going to hide something. You're always going to hide something. In a year or two, when you're finally comfortable, you won't want to tell people about what happened. It's not bad. You're not lying. Unless it were to be a time when you wanted to tell someone, you're not going to be so open about it."

Harry was in the same spot when I got out. I took a deep breath and walked over to him, getting in the car. I took a deep breath while he started the car. "Harry, I wanna ask you something."

"Okay, what's up?" He asked as he pulled into the street.

"How were you calling my aunt if you didn't have your phone?" I tried to keep my tone even, but I heard it waiver. "I could hear her talking to you."

"I didn't have my phone, Louis. I didn't talk to anyone." Harry didn't even glance at me. I frowned and turned my head to look out the window. I knew he wouldn't answer.

We got back to my house and I got out of the car and walked inside, leaving Harry in the process. I went to my room and closed the door, sitting down on my bed. How do I make him tell me without pressuring him? I just want the truth, whatever reason it was.

"Louis?" Harry knocked three times, but I just laid down instead. I rolled away from the door just in case he decided to come in. If he wasn't going to tell me the truth, I wasn't going to talk to him.

The door opened. "You're getting mad at me for no reason, Lou," he pleaded. Why was he pleading? "I love you, okay? I didn't want to be gone."

I shrugged from the bed, picking at my sheets. He can say it all he wants, if I go through my aunt's call log, I'll see his number.

"Will you talk to me? Please?" I shrugged again, still facing away from him. "Louis, this isn't funny."

"What's not funny is lying to me over something small! If you needed her, fine, whatever! Just tell me instead of making me feel stupid!" I sniffled and shook my head. "You keep making me feel stupid and crazy because I know Mary was talking to you. I'd sit in the hallway and listen to her calm you down and assure you I was doing okay. I'm not stupid."

"Okay, things... Happen... When I go to my dad's house. I didn't want to call you and worry you while I was gone and I made a point of calling once she said you were asleep so you wouldn't know."

"Then why do you go?" I asked, tears still falling. "I just want... Please."

"I have to. Legally."

"Aren't you 18?"

I didn't hear anything from Harry, so I turned around and saw him staring at the ground.

"I'm 18," he whispered, looking up. "I don't have to go again."

I watched Harry process that. He's been so focused on me, he hasn't really worried about himself, which is an issue. I sat up slowly and shook my head. "I'm sorry I've made you focus on me so much," I whispered.

"Louis, no, I didn't-"

"I mean it," I told him. "You haven't even been taking care of yourself or thinking of yourself unless it involves me... Maybe we should spend a little time apart."

"We just did, Louis. We just spent-"

"Willingly. Not where one of us is forced, but where we just don't hang out as much." I picked at my blanket. "I just want you to be okay, too."

"Don't do this, Louis. A lot happened and everything just needs to settle and it's going to be fine. Please." Harry took a few steps closer to me. "I need you, okay? Even if you're past needing me, I need you."

"Why?" I asked genuinely. "What do I even do?"

Harry took a deep breath. "When you were found again, the first time, my heart jumped. They repeated over and over again that you would be dead and then you were alive. And I just... I needed to make sure you were safe because I knew who you were and what you went through. I need you. I need someone else who knows what we went through."

I chewed on my lip. "I get it. Okay. But we spend a little more time apart, that way we both focus on ourselves."

"Deal. But not right now," he said as he fell into the bed with me, wrapping his arms around me. "I need to hold you for at least five minutes."