I waited {L.S}

2.4

"I don't wanna be here, or there or-"

"Louis, calm down," Kayla instructed.

"No! I don't get why I'm here! I'm just causing problems!" I rubbed my face. I couldn't feel anything. Everything was numb, no matter what I tried to do. "I can't do this."

"Louis, listen to me. I'm driving there, right now. I do not want you alone, right now."

"I'm not going to-" I threw the phone, putting my head in my hands. "I just..."

I stood up and started pacing my room. I wanted to leave, I wanted to stay, I didn't know what the best option for me was.

I started crying and fell back on my bed, grabbing my hair and pulling on it. I was mental. Totally and completely mental.

"Louis?"

"Leave me alone!" I yelled.

"Harry's here."

"Leave me alone!" I yelled again. "I don't wanna talk!"

"Louis," he said quietly. "Please?"

"I hurt you!" I yelled, forcing deep breaths in my lungs and back out. "Go away!"

"You expect me to believe that you put me in the hospital for weeks, L? Because I don't. I don't believe that for a minute."

"I did it," I whispered. "He doesn't exist. I made him up. He's not real. I had to of done it."

"Louis, please," Harry begged. "Please, open the door."

"No, no," I cried. "I hurt him. I did it."

"Louis," Harry said, opening my door. I pushed my hands further into my head. "Fuck, Louis."

He walked closer, crouching down in front of me. "Look at me."

"I did it. I had to. He's not-"

"Louis, he's real." I shook my head, causing Harry to grab my hands. "Look at me. He's real."

"No, he's not. I made him up, I made-"

Harry shook his head. "Hey, I'm here. Okay? Focus on that."

"I..." I was shaking, bad. "I hurt you."

"Louis, has he talked to you?" Harry asked quietly.  I shook my head and chewed on my lip. "Has he?"

"No! He's not real!" I yelled, pulling away from Harry.

"Who told you that? Louis, who told you he wasn't real?"

I shook my head. Harry grabbed my shoulders. "Louis, talk to me. Who told you that?"

"No one," I stuttered. "You should hate me. I h-hurt you."

"Yeah, you totally put me in the fucking hospital, Louis."

"I did!"

"How? What did you do?"

Blood, kicking, picking him up-

"Louis!"

"It was me!" I tried to pull away from Harry, but he wouldn't let go. "Please, Harry."

"You were begging for him to stop, Louis," Harry whispered. "But I wouldn't let him take you again. So he hurt me, to make you feel bad. You didn't do it."

"Yes I did. I had an anxiety attack and-"

"No, you don't do that. You've never done that. I know he did it. I know Ken did it."

"He isn't real!"

"Yes he is!" Harry yelled. "Who told you he wasn't!"

"He's not, Harry! He's not real! He's not real." I pulled away from him and walked back to the wall. "You have to be real to hurt someone."

"Louis-"

"He never hurt me, I kept hurting myself. I did it. All of it."

"Where's your dad?" Harry asked over me.

"Why?" I snapped my head up. "He's not doing anything."

"Louis, where is your dad?" Harry asked again. I pressed my lips together. "Is he hurting you?" Harry whispered so quietly that I barely heard him.

I started to shake my head, then stopped. "I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be anywhere."

Harry pulled me to his chest, causing the waterfall that had mostly been held back to fall down my face. "I don't want to do this. I'm d-done."

Harry rubbed my back. "Hey, hey, come on."

"Where are we-"

"Anywhere but here," Harry said, his hand lacing with mine. He kept me close as we walked, and my dad came out of his room.

I stopped walking and pulled away from Harry. My dad stared at me for a few seconds before Earnest ran around him. "What's going on?"

Harry didn't answer him. Instead, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me next to him. My dad grabbed my shoulder, causing me to flinch.

"Louis," he said lowly. I shut my eyes tightly and pulled my hand from Harry's grip.

Go I signed to Harry. Just go.

No, what's going on? He signed back,

"Everything's fine," my dad answered.

"Yeah? I don't believe that." Harry looked at me, but I shook my head again. "Louis-"

"What's going on?" Mary asked, coming inside. She had went shopping, most of the kids went with her except me, Lottie and Earnest. "Oh, hello," she said sweetly when she saw Harry.

Harry kept his gaze on me. "Louis?"

Go I mouthed. Please.

"Love," Mary said, directed towards my dad, "let him hang out with his friend."

"Panic-"

"Let him go," she insisted.

His grip on my shoulder lessened, so I pulled away, but didn't move towards Harry.

"What are you doing to him?" Harry asked, stepping closer to my dad.

No, no stop. Harry wasn't paying attention to me, but I wasn't going to talk. Harry, stop, please.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" He questioned.

Harry looked at me. "Is he-"

No! Stop! Just Harry... I glanced at my dad and looked down. My room?

"No, no rooms."

"Dan-"

"No, I'm serious. They're not going in a room alone together."

I covered my ears. Everything felt like way too much, suddenly. It happens a lot, but never when I'm this confused, hurt, vulnerable.