I waited {L.S}

4.1

I finished the puzzle by the end of the night. I set it on my desk and went to bed, trying to distract my mind from Harry. It would be easy if he hadn't randomly shown up.

I sat up and groaned. I went to the kitchen and paused in the entry way when I saw Mary talking to Harry. My loneliness turned to anger and I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something.

Harry rubbed his face before his eyes drifted towards me. I looked down and stepped back. "I'm not ready for this."

"Louis-"

"Don't." I crossed my arms. "I don't want to hear you're sorry, or that you feel bad. You don't. You would have told me, you would have texted me, you would have called me if you cared. You wouldn't leave me after knowing that there was a seventy-five percent chance I would have done something stupid! But you left! You left without telling me! You told everyone around me, but not me!"

"Louis," Mary tried to sooth. "It's late. You have every right to be upset, but the girls are sleeping."

"I didn't want to leave, Louis. I didn't have a choice," he gritted. Harry stood up and walked over to me. "I let everything revolve around you, so I had to keep pushing my shit off until I couldn't anymore. It killed me to try to tell you I was leaving. I tried. I tried to tell you, but it didn't work. It didn't fucking work. I couldn't watch you break in front of me while I knew I couldn't stay to put it back together. Knowing I was the one who even made you hurt killed me while I was gone."

I looked down at the floor. "You had options. You abandoned me."

I pulled away from him and walked into the kitchen. Mary stood up when he tried to follow me. "Harry-"

"This was the last thing I wanted!" He cried. I wrapped my hand around the handle of the fridge and paused. "I was with my dad. He's a total prick. Doesn't let me have my phone. He was super pissed I wasn't going every month like I was supposed to, which is why I was gone for three. He hid my phone, Louis. It was the last fucking thing I wanted."

"That doesn't mean you leave without saying anything." I grabbed a bottle of water and opened it. "And you don't get to come back like nothing happened."

"Shit happened. I know that. I feel horrible. I wasn't going to come back like nothing happened and keep going. I was going to come and talk to you. Let you yell at me and scream because you need to. I know that."

I turned around and looked at Harry. "You really don't get how mad I am."

"Mad enough. I get it." Harry ran his fingers through his hair. I took another sip out of the bottle and looked at my aunt. "Call me when you're ready to talk."

So you can ignore it. Sure. I rubbed my arm and waited until I heard the front door close. I took a deep breath and walked to the living room. Mary walked over to me and grabbed my shoulders.

"You don't have to let him back in. You don't. It's up to you, and I'll support you either way. I'm sorry that this happened."

I nodded. "I just want to lay down now."

"You'll wake up to brownies," Mary promised. I nodded again and she kissed my forehead. I went back to my room.

I sat in my bed and crossed my arms, then put my hands on my face and rubbed my cheeks with my thumbs. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. Before I knew it, I was sobbing and holding myself even tighter, regretting yelling at Harry. I pulled my arms away and rolled into the bed, screaming into my pillow.

I felt arms around me, but I fought them. "Get off!"

"It's Lottie, Lou. It's okay. Look at me. Please." I finally did and she smiled. "It's okay. It was a dream. Go back to sleep."

Lottie pulled my blanket over me and smiled. "Breathe, Louis. It's all okay."

I found comfort in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I could smell the brownies. I got out of bed and walked downstairs. I grabbed one from the pile and took a bite, looking for everyone else, but no one was home. I shrugged and grabbed another one. I walked to the couch and sat down. I folded my legs in front of me and turned on the TV.

After one episode, I sighed and pulled out my phone. I called Harry, hoping he answered. If it went to voicemail, I swear, that was the end of me trying.

The line kept ringing, I rolled my eyes as his voicemail picked up. "You're always up by now. I just-" I pulled the phone away from my ear and hung up, covering my face. It was eleven. Everyone's up by eleven.

A few seconds later, Harry's ringtone went off. I muted the call and tossed my phone to the other side of the couch. I don't know why it was pissing me off so much, but it was.

I grabbed my phone before the call ended and answered it. "Wrong number."

"Louis, don't. Please. I'm sorry. I'm shitty, I get that. Don't shut me out though. I don't know what you picture those three months like for me, but I was hiding the fact we even dated because he's homophobic, dealing with him drunk nearly the whole time, and missing you. I cried for hours, Louis. I hated how I couldn't just message you. I wanted to just hear your voice. I'm sorry."

"I need to talk about this first, Harry. I can't-"

"Can't make decisions by yourself? You're grown, Louis. You don't need a baby sitter. You need-"

"I need to do what works, Harry! Just because you're getting your life together and it didn't take as long doesn't mean that I have to have mine together!"

Harry let out a long breath. "I don't care if your life is together. I care about you. I want things to be the best they can be for you. I'm sorry, Louis. I really am."

I stared at the floor. "I miss you," I admitted, tears filling my eyes. "I miss you so much."

"Don't cry. Please, Lou. You're special and important. I'm sorry, I'll tell you Everytime from now on, okay? I'm sorry, Lou."

"Come over?" I asked. "Please."