I waited {L.S}

4.0

Dylan looked at the drawings. "What does this one mean?" He asked, flipping the one he was talking about to show me.

I chewed my lips. "This was "my room". And these are Daniel's spots."

"So Ken is red, Bruce is purple, and Daniel is green," Dylan clarified. I nodded slowly. "Who else is there?"

"It's them. They're the main three, anyway. I only remember their names." I looked down and pulled on my thumb.

"Are you sure? There's nothing else that's eating at you?"

"Robert. I don't know why, but I keep thinking of that name. I can't place it to a face."

Dylan nodded. He started looking at another drawing. He could care less about how well it is, he's searching for my stupid secret message. "What's this one?" He asked finally.

I looked up at it. "That's about when I met Harry."

"It looks like you," he commented.

"It is," I answered slowly. "That one's really stupid and I don't know why I brought it."

"Nothing's stupid, I told you that. Harry's brighter, right? Let's talk about him for a minute if you're comfortable with that." I nodded slowly. "Okay, so this one. It's you, but it's about Harry."

"Harry is.... He's a rainbow. He's colorful and calming. I rely on him more than I should, but he's showing me how to rely on myself. When I see him, for once, all I can think about is myself. How happy he makes me." I looked up at Dylan. "Is that bad?"

"No. It's exactly what you need, Louis. You're a dependent person. Yes, it is because if your trauma, but not everyone is built to be independent. Some people need to rely on others to keep them grounded."

I nodded. Dylan was actually one of the best therapists I had been to. He made sure that I was comfortable. The reason he wasn't talking before was because he wanted me to start it. He didn't want it to feel forced. When I was ready, I was going to talk. And if that meant we had to go through awkward silence, that's what it meant.

"Just because you need someone to ground you, doesn't mean there's something wrong. I know you feel like depending on someone can be bad, but it can be good, too." Dylan smiled when I looked up at him. "Our session is almost over, though. Is there anything else you need to talk through?"

I pushed my lips together, which drew his attention. "Harry has to leave town for a little, and I'm worried."

"About what?"

"About everything, I guess. I see him nearly everyday. Now he's going to be gone for a least a month." I didn't want to think or talk about it, especially since Harry doesn't know I know yet, but I had to talk it out. "A month is a long time. I'm scared I'm going to completely freeze without him."

"Louis, breathe. Nothing is going to happen without Harry. He's probably already setting up some type of schedule to call you and he'll text you all the time. It's how you teenagers work. It'll be hard, but you'll get through it." Dylan offered a small smile. "Have you guys talked about it?"

"He hasn't told me yet. He was talking with his mom and I over heard it. What if he doesn't actually tell me and he just leaves? Because he thinks that's easier?"

"He won't. Harry loves you, he's not going to just disappear on you. Especially you of all people."

I walked out of the building and saw Mary. I paused for a second, then kept walking. Harry was supposed to pick me up.

"Where's Harry?" I asked as I got in the car.

Mary had a tight smile. "He had to leave for a few weeks, love."

I froze putting on my seatbelt. "You're joking. He did not leave without saying anything to me."

"Louis-"

"He hasn't texted me back all day either," I whispered. And all the confidence I just got from Dylan flew out the window as we drove. "Fuck."

"Louis, he's coming back."

No, he's not, I thought stubbornly.

Three months. Three months and I was happy, living, free. I don't know how I got past the first week, but I did.

Harry never answered me. Ever. Up until last week, I still sent him texts everyday to see if he answered. He never did. Mary felt bad about that. She tried not to get involved with us, but from my understanding, Harry still calls her.

I was getting picked up from the community college that we had in town when I saw Harry's infamous car. I slid my body so I was on the other side of the tree and hidden from the street. It was a decently large campus, yet he somehow managed to drive right past me, of course.

I turned my head and saw Mary's car a few seconds later. I made a break for it and slumped down in the back when I got in. I wasn't ready to deal with Harry, yet. I resolved the issue of him leaving. I didn't think he was coming back at that point.

"Why are you running?" Lottie questioned. I glared at her and kept my head down. "Seriously, are you good?"

"Don't wanna talk about it." That was finally an acceptable answer. I was at a point where they trusted I wasn't hiding anything I couldn't handle. Did I think I could handle Harry, no, but I didn't want to tell them either.

"I'm exhausted," Lottie complained. "School is so much work. And I have to be at work in like an hour."

"I told you, you don't have to have the job, Lottie."

"I want money to spend. I can't spend money if I don't have it and I hate asking."

It was a long drive of them lightly arguing the point on if Lottie needed a job. I kept my stare out the window to avoid talking to them. We got home and I ran into my room.

I put my bag down and walked to my closet, grabbing a puzzle I keep in there. I out it down and went to work at it, hoping to forget everything else existed.

I looked up after doing a good chunk when I could hear people arguing. I stood up and walked to my door, opening it.

"I want to see him, Mary," Harry pleaded. I closed the door quickly and leaned against it.

My heart was racing. I felt tears pool in my eyes. I wanted him to hold me and I wanted to scream at him to never touch me again. He left me. He left me without saying bye. That's not okay. That's not fine.

The front door slammed, causing me to jump. I out my hand over my chest and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, I saw half of Harry's face through my curtains. I slowly walked over to them, debating. I reached for the lock, then stopped. He hurt me. After promising he wasn't going to, he did. I grabbed the curtains instead and closed them, wandering back to my bed and sitting down.

I didn't want this to hurt. This should feel good, considering how badly he hurt me. It didn't. It was killing me. I wanted Harry right there to hold me. Kiss me. Make me feel like I was the whole world.

First, I needed to make myself feel like the world. So it doesn't hurt as much when someone leaves again.