Finding Solace

XI

He left the room periodically and I assumed he was making rounds of some sort. It seemed as if he was busy with other things but he always came back. The puppy slumped to the ground, using my foot to rest its head. Even though he looked all battered, he was still a cute little puppy.

The door opened once more and I didn't even bother to look up, the
worn down boot gave it away. Though, when I looked up, he wore a grin, something he didn't have the other times.

"Someone has come to relieve my shift. I have to go do something down in the stables if you want to come. Your horse is there."

I carefully placed the puppy onto its bed fore disposing the gloves. The trek there wouldn't have been bad but the Summer heat was starting to get to me. Opening up a fence, he closed if behind us before leading us down a luscious meadow. The long grass ticked the skin peaking out from my jeans but I coming to grow fond of the feeling.

I've heard of how dirty barns could be and the smell but this was really nice. The lights weren't dim at all so it was easy to see how clean it was. Some horses stuck their head out to take a look at us but Maverick led us passed them. The stalls started to become empty until we reached one of the last ones.

"We wouldn't know how he would react or how sick he was, so we had to separate him." He said we approached his stall. "The sounds could also spook him so we opted to keep the doors shut." He explained as he opened up the top window to allow us to see in.

"He's tan." I marveled at the cleaned fur, the once dark coat now revealed its true coloring.

"He is a buck skin."As the horse turned its head towards Maverick, who was now offering a carrot, it revealed its problems. I could clearly see his ribs and hip bones protruding from its skin. If that wasn't bad enough, I could see two wounds leaking puss and blood lying on its back, making me hold back a gag and then my head.

"I'm sorry. I should have warned you." He said, placing some sort of instrument that had been lying on the floor, back on its hook. "It's not always for the faintest of heart." He said, giving me a reassuring smile.

"What was that?" I whispered, the words coming out croaked and almost broken.

"Those are infected saddle sores. They are usually caused by ill fitting saddles. When the horse moves and gets ridden, it sweats and it causes the saddle move, like chafing. Some areas on the horses' back also supports more pressure which is why you mostly see them near the ends of the saddle. Though, seeing how bad this has gotten, I have a feeling it was because they didn't use a saddle blanket. In the extent that these are in, the owner or rider knew they were there and continued to ride him, making is split open and get infected."

"That's.. disgusting." I couldn't think of a word to describe such a terrible act it was. The horse had to do what it was told even though it was causing it pain and making it suffer.

"It's inhumane." He agreed. "I will never understand some of these people. I have seen so many animal neglect and abuse cases and I will never see why it was 'okay' in the owners eyes to let the animals suffer."

"Neither will I." He offered me a carrot and I gratefully took it, offering it to the horse. His whiskered nose tickled my hand as he took my offering. He truly was a stunning creature even if he wasn't up to par yet. He will only become more beautiful as he gets healthier.

"What's his name?" I asked, rubbing his long nose and up to his floppy ears.

"He doesn't have one yet. Usually we let the people who find the animals name them."

"I've never.. I wouldn't know.."I couldn't form the sentence I wanted to come out.

"That's okay, most people don't know what to pick. You can go and have look at our other horses names to get an idea. I just have to prepare this stall."

As I began to walk down the stables, a white horse with black speckles caught my attention. "Buckbeak?" I asked and he laughed from inside the other stall.

"He was a rescue as well, named by one of my younger cousins."

"What is a Buckbeak?"

"You know! It's that weird bird and horse hybrid thing from Harry Potter."

"Uh.."

"You've never seen Harry Potter?"

"I'm afraid not." I scrunched my eyes brows. Was it truly that bad? "Television wasn't a big thing in my house."

"Then what about the books?" He asked as he grabbed a pitch fork as started laying down hay.

"I didn't have much time for reading."

"Hmm." He grunted as he lifted a saddle and place it on the rack. "I'll have to show you sometime." It wasn't a question but I didn't know what to think of it. I was leading him on with this idea as I planned on leaving soon. I ignored his comment and kept going.

Most of the names were strange, unlike the typically names I would have thought of and none if them had 'human names'. They all had a reason, a purpose, story behind them. Some names went deeper than others but they all belonged.

I personally liked  Maverick's horse, which was a  tall, dark red horse named Rudolf ,which made me giggle a bit.  I asked why but he claimed that Rudolf happened to be heroic.There was even a Nutcracker, whose story is exactly was her name pertains to. She got scared so she bucked, unfortunately for one of the men who worked here.

I jumped and reeled back when a large hand landed on my shoulder. I spun around, my back slamming against the side of one of the stalls, startling the horse. Maverick's eyes were wide, gaping at me, my left shoulder searing but not from the impact.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He spoke quietly, sincerely. "Are you okay?"

"I am fine." I spoke tersely, trying to keep our distance.

"Are you sure? You hit the wall pretty hard."

"I am fine." I repeated again, my tone having a sharper edge to it. My heart rate refused to slow down and I could feel the all to familiar shakes start to return to my hands.

"I'm uh, I'm sorry. Lunch is soon and we should probably head in." He fidgeted and placed his hands in his pockets.

"I'm just uh, going to stay here."

"Are you sure?"I nodded. My throat was being to close up and I knew that I couldn't trust my voice.

"Do you know they way back?" I nodded my head and tried if offer a smile.

"Okay, I guess I'll see you later." I smiled at him again, offering a quick wave. I walked to back of the stables once more, listening to his heavy boots walking the opposite direction. Once I was sure he left, I broke down. I slid my back down the wooden door until I reached the floor, head tucked between my knees. The tears were as uncontrollable as my quickening breath and heart rate.

It hurt. My lungs hurt. My heart hurt. My shoulder was the worst. It burned, seared from the unwelcomed touch. The imprints of my past will forever be carved into my body, onto my skin and my mind. A constant reminder that I will never be normal and I will never be the same.