Only Ever Best Friends

✯ 21 ✯

[Grayson's POV]

I woke with a beam of sunlight on my face and looked down to see Ellie's golden hair on my chest. She was still sleeping.

How could I have never noticed how beautiful she is?
I'm such an IDIOT.

And now, I'm remembering Ethan, and what she said last night, and realizing she's right. When we get home, it can't be like this. I can't kiss her or hold her hand or even look at her a certain way. I just have to go home and pretend that nothing's changed when really I don't think anything will ever be the same.

A single tear rolls down my cheek and I immediately wipe it off. I don't like feeling weak. I don't even cry in front of my own twin.

[Ellie's POV]

I woke up on Grayson's chest and sat up, slightly startled. He looked devastated.

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"I-it's nothing... I'm fine."

I can tell when my
best friend is lying.

"It's not nothing, Gray you're clearly not fine. Please?"

"I'm just remembering what you said last night, that's all."

"What did I say?!"

"We can't be like this when we get back,"
he said.

"Gray?"

"Yeah?"

"You deserve someone who you can actually be with... and I can't be that for you. I can't even come close to that."
I said, trying to make light of the situation.

"Don't say that," he began, looking in my eyes.

"But it's true, Gray!"

"No it isn't, Ellie. Last night wouldn't have happened if it were."

"Last night was an accident."

"Don't even try to pretend you believe that for a second. You can't just double back on everything you said to me."

"Grayson... this is a lot more complicated than
'I like you and you like me'"

He laughs.

"...we're a happy family."

"Oh my god. What are you, five? We need to have a very serious discussion..." I paused, "...which can't be done with you staring at my bra and singing Barney, you doofus."

The real lyrics are 'love' not 'like', anyway. Imagine if I'd just confessed that, though.
If I had said love.
Then we'd really be fucked.

He put his hands up fake-surrendering and I pushed his shoulder teasingly. I move to get out of bed, but I am stopped.

"Wait."

"What do you mean 'wait'?"

"Just one more kiss first?"
He pouted and batted his eyelashes.

I'm going to regret this.

I crawled back on top of him, giggling.
"Just ONE."

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. There that feeling was again, affirming that what happened yesterday wasn't in my head.
I pulled away and he grabbed me into a bear hug.

"...with a great big hug, and a—"

"OH my god!" I interrupt.

I tickle him to get him to let go and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. I was going to go find my shirt that he'd thrown across the room last night - if only it was that simple.

As soon as I got up, a pang of soreness in my pelvic region caused me to collapse to the floor.

"Motherfucker!" I groan.

Grayson sucked his teeth and quickly rushed over to help me up.*

"Sorry," he says, picking me up bridal style and setting me back on the bed.

"I guess I wasn't as gentle as I—"

Don't.
Don't say it.

"It's fine... just—let's get dressed, okay?
We need to go home."

He nodded and tossed me my shirt and I slipped it back on while he did the same with his shorts and shirt.

He came over and sat on the bed.

"Now, we have a serious talk."

"I'm listening," he said, turning to face me.

"You can't tell anyone."

"I won't," he said, then mimed zipping his lips.

"I'm serious! If your mom finds out that this happened, you're dead, if my mom finds out, we're both dead, if Ethan finds out, I'll lose you both which I don't even wanna think about, and if MY DAD finds out, he will literally CASTRATE you."

Grayson put his hand over his crotch and shuddered at the thought.

"So nobody finds out, okay?"

"Ok." he nodded.

"Ethan can't know about what we did this weekend, okay? And you guys tell each other everything—"

"I won't tell him."

I give him a look.

"I promise." He says.

"I don't know what this is, or... or why it's all happening right now... a-and I love you so much as a friend. You are literally my rock. And I never ever wanna lose that, so we have to take it day by day... just... see what happens... okay?"

"Okay."

* sucking your teeth is when you do this 😬