Only Ever Best Friends

⌁ 10 ⌁

I had my mom pick me up because there was no way I could let any of my friends drive me home after what I had just done.

She arrived ten minutes later and I got in the car. We didn't speak the whole way home.

When I got in the house, I ran up to my room and shut the door. My mom didn't follow, she knew better.

*bing*
New Text
[Sophie ☀️👩🏻👠 » Me]:
CALL ME. NOW.

*dialing*

S: "HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I don't know, he freaked out and bolted."

I hear giggling on the other end of the line.

"How is that funny to you? I had to CALL MY MOM to come pick me up!"

S: "He probably got a boner."

"SOPHIE—OH MY GOD EW— STOP."

S: "You should've seen his face when you sat down," she said, cackling.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

S: "God, you really are clueless aren't you? I was sitting right next to you guys. He clearly enjoyed it. And I'm pretty sure you did too."

"I'm not answering that."

S: "Ellie, don't lie to me. You know I'm right."

"Fuck you."

She squealed.

S: "EEK I KNEW IT! Ellie, you should be with him. Literal sparks fly when you're together, dude. Don't you see that? Erica probably did the both of you a favor tonight, you guys are too chicken to ever try anything on your own."

"I shouldn't feel like that about him, Sophie..."

S: "Why the fuck not?"

"Because I... ok, here's the thing about wanting him like that. I don't know why I do, or when I started to, but it's like an ache. I already knew I loved him, I always have, as a friend. But I never thought about the other kind. Not just the one with hand-holding, pecks on the cheek or forehead and sitting on laps. The one with biting and touching and...I have never thought about doing either with him. I vividly remember that day in 7th grade when we were told in detail, how in fact babies were made. On the bus ride home from school, me and the boys made a mutual agreement that
sex was gross we would never ever do it with each other.

Now, I can't even wrap my head around it. It's--he's my best friend, and I could never put that in jeopardy by telling him that I accidentally fell—" I cut myself off, utterly shocked at the words that came out of my mouth.

HOLY.
SHIT.
DID I ALMOST JUST...

I could hear Sophie screaming through the phone.

S: "OHMYGOD DID YOU JUST—

"No I didn't."

I lay back on my bed and stared at my ceiling.

"Shit," I sighed. "I... didn't mean to say that.... You can't tell anyone."

S: "Honey, that's YOUR job, not mine."

"I can't tell anyone that either."

S: "YES YOU CAN."

"No. I can't. What if it's just me? What if he doesn't feel that way? Then I lose him. And if I lose him, I lose Ethan, and I REFUSE to lose Ethan. It's not happening. No way...for god's sake, Sophie, he's like my brother."

S: "But he's not. And if you don't get off your ass and tell him how you feel, someone else will take him. You know I'm right. So go GET him!"