A Kiss of Goodbye

35: Fall Deeply

"I'm sorry, I didn't let you know that I have to leave. You were sound a sleep and I don't have the guts to wake you up. I am called for work. I love you! -Gregg!" I woke up feeling sore in an empty bed. Well, not literally, it's just empty in the sense of Gregg's absence. I reached for my phone to see what time it is but greeted with his text that was sent almost 3 hours ago and it's only 7:12 AM.

I don't feel angry at him for leaving unsounded but I kind of miss feeling his energy around me. I stayed on my bed for a while reminiscing the sound of his voice as he say my name and moaned in pleasure feeling my muscles around his. I've grown to like his presence and screwed my plan for letting him go to save my self from getting hurt in the long run.

I am fully aware that any time soon he will be gone from me completely; I need to come up with a plan to at least sort things out and console myself if the time comes.

Letting him stay in my life temporarily, pose a bigger threat to my sanity and that I will be left to sulk in pain and emptiness again.

Is the joy and wonder he's bringing me worth the sacrifice? He somehow fulfils my fantasy of being in a real intimate relationship. His momentary presence in my life made so much difference and excitement to my draggy and sleeping soul.

"Hey Love! Are you up? -Gregg" I beamed crazily as I read the text. -"Nope, this is a robot you're talking too 🤨" I replied trying to sound moody hahhaha. "Oopss.. someone woke up at the wrong side of the bed. Anyway, it'll be there in 10 mins." I kept reading his message and tried to comprehend the text but then I gave up trying to be intelligent. -"I couldn't quite get what you meant by be there in 10 mins." But he didn't bother to answer me anymore.

I heard bells and knocks on my door as I finished brushing my teeth. My heart started to skip beats thinking who or what it could be. I quickly stride to the main door and looked at the monitor. Some food delivery guy is outside. He could've mistaken my room so I just opened the door a little just enough for him to see me. -"I'm sorry but I don't remember ordering for food today." I quickly asked. "Don't worry ma'am, this is from mr. Greggor Oumrris. All I need you to do is sign this as a proof of receipt." He handed me the pad to sign it before giving a bag full of Korean meal.

-"Thanks for being thoughtful Gregg! Received the food you ordered for me. Hoping you had your breakfast there too. You made me feel extra loved today." I texted him as soon as I laid down the savoury meal on the table feeling genuinely happy. It's 6 minutes past 8:00 AM and it's on time to break the fast.

-"How could it feel so good when it is not right? Oh!! Gregg, what are you doing in my life?" Day-by-day, with his presence, I am starting to fall deeply in love with the man I barely new. -"But that's not what really scares me, it's when I get to the point of getting the courage to fight for him and he's not willing. It's like you fight only to lose." The melodramatic me is in action once again.

He finally replied to my text almost afternoon recognising my gratitude and that he will be busy. I didn't reply to his text after that because I don't want to bother him anymore. He has done enough for me today.

The day is almost over, I am trying to make the most out of the last day of my duty-leave by sleeping for the whole afternoon.