Forever and Always

Chapter 20

Dani's POV

Demi and I ended up not talking when she got back. Just as Natalie and Max said, Demi's team arrived after her interview and they all started going over what was going to happen. I didn't mind at all though. The whole hustle and bustle of everyone getting things done and explaining and all kept Demi and I from being alone together and that gave me time to think.

I needed to know how to tell Demi that the cut on my leg wasn't from the car accident. I hadn't lied to her at all, at first. I had almost no memory of that night, I drank so much and it was all a blur. So I did think it was from the accident in the beginning. But, finally a couple days ago, I remembered.

It was after I was halfway through the first bottle of vodka, after having had two bottles of rum, and I tripped on a corner of a chair, causing it to slip out of my hand and shatter on the kitchen floor. I bent down to pick the shards up and was almost done until I was unable to hold myself up and tumbled to the ground. I just laid there and started to cry and next thing I knew, I had a sharp bloody piece of glass in my hand, my pants were down, and there was a big gash at the top of my thigh.

I didn't know what I was thinking, and I still don't. The next and only thing I remember is me calling Aly then the rest is blank. I don't even remember getting into the car.

I just don't know how to explain it to Demi. She was so happy thinking I'd been clean this whole time. How could I make her disappointed? She'll either hate me or be mad at herself and I don't want her blaming herself again, especially not when she's in the state she's in now.

I looked over at Demi from the bed. She and her team were sitting by the big window at the end of the room, laughing at something. God, I loved the way she looked when she laughed like that. She seems so happy. Who am I to ruin that? And what if she wants to send me into treatment? I didn't want that.

As if she could tell I was looking at her, Demi met my eyes and grinned.

"Baby, why don't you come here?" She asked and I shook my head.

"I'd just rather read right now," I said and she stuck out her bottom lip. I rolled my eyes at her. "Babe, I'm fine. Just continue."

Then she shrugged and went back to talking. After a couple minutes, I yawned. It was almost midnight now and I was beat. Demi happened to notice me and suddenly hopped out of the chair.

"Ok, y'all, time to head to your rooms. It's late and we all need our sleep." Demi said and clapped her hands. Then she started shooing everybody out.

Maybe she'll forget. It's late and I can tell she's tired now. It was almost 6 hours ago since she said we were going to talk. She can't still remember, can she?

"So, Danielle, what were you going to say earlier?"

Yes, she can still remember.

"Um, not important now," I answered, not looking away from my book. I could see her move towards me out of the corner of my eye. The bed dipped and Demi reached over and grabbed my book.

"You weren't acting like it wasn't important before."

I looked at her and her face was now totally serious. There was no way I was getting out of this so I might as well just be straight up.

"You know how you said I was over a month clean?" Demi perked up and nodded.

"We should celebrate tomorrow before I do my soundcheck," she said with a face-eating smile. Oh, the guilt.

"Well..." And I explained it to her. With every word I said, her smile slowly dropped.

"I had no clue what I was doing, I barely remember. And I beg you, please don't think this is your fault," I finished.