The Alpha's Charm | Taejin✔️

Internal Confession

Oh, crap, ouch! That hurts. My entire body burns, even my freaking throat. I tried turning on the bed and only winced more in pain. My muscles ache, my ass was on fire. After being unable to lay on my back, I turn on my side. Taehyung was laying next to me, sleeping. He looked so good and innocent, pretty much everything he wasn't when he's awake. I wonder if I was making the right decision, I think my Omega was, but I didn't know about me.
    It's been a while since I had allowed myself to be like this with anyone...since Jungkook's death. I had built a wall around my heart after he died. The thought of being hurt again like that was just heart-wrenching. I relive the moment he died every day. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish he was still here with me. My heart hurt so much, and I missed him so much, I used to wish I had taken his place in death.
But now that I had met Taehyung I don't know. He ignited something in me; no one else had ever kindled. The way he looks at me as though I'm the only one. It made me feel wanted, loved, cared about. His persistence behavior drove me insane. Of course, I couldn't admit that to him. What if he decides to leave, what if something happens to him? I couldn't take another heartbreak. What if he decided I wasn't the Omega he wanted. What do I do then? 
     When he was an ass, I liked him better because it meant I had a reason for rejecting him. Of course, I felt it the first time we met that he was my Alpha; my Omega knew it. His scent, everything about him, drew me in. The same thing he felt, I felt it too. I just couldn't admit it. Then he started to be aggressive and invasive, and it gave me a reason to push him away. He gave me a reason to deny him. I was happy with that. But like the wind, he changed, and reasoned with me, making a compromise, a deal. One I couldn't refuse, he started being nice, suppressing his Alpha, for me. I was so not deserving of that. I'm so confused as to what to do. Do I let my worries keep us apart, or do I continue this? Would I be enough for him? Do I even deserve happiness while Jungkook is lying 6 feet under?

   I lean my head back on the pillow, tears running down my cheeks. I don't even know when I started crying. I rub my hand over the temporary bite mark he had given me last night. I was thankful he didn't knot me. With my feelings the way it was, I certainly wasn't ready to be claimed entirely or end up pregnant. I was already stupid for leaving my pills behind and neglecting to take them the night before.

I felt Taehyung's arms wrap around me as he pulled me into him, I winced in pain. "Are you hurt? Why are you crying?" His hand came up to my cheek, wiping the tears away. I looked at him in disbelief, "What happened to my aggressive Alpha? Why are you like this?" He smiled and placed his lips onto mines. "When my Omega is hurting, how can I be like that. I'm not a monster, my love. You are my priority, now tell me what's making you sad. Was I too rough last night? You know the bite mark is temporary, right?" As he spoke, he caresses my cheek, brushing his thumb in my hair.

I just looked at him and continued to cry. How do I even explain this to him? "I'm sorry. I'm just sore, and you weren't too rough. As hesitant as I was I enjoyed last night. Yes, I know the mark is temporary, thank you for that." He smiled. "Good, and I am sorry I made you sore like this. Does this mean no morning sex?"

I pushed him off the bed.