i dont think really anyone reads this anymore bc im so inactive but uhh i figured i'd give u guys an update on how im doing because the last update was real depressing and i think its mildly concerning as well
dont worry guys, im getting help
i started taking antidepressants and working on ways to cope w my anxiety
i started taking iron supplements because that whole dizzy thing was anemia caused by an iron defficency
its summer break now which is amazing
im having a bit of a depressive episode rn but im handling it a lot better than i did back during the school year
school
school was rough
ngl for the first two and a half weeks or so after school ended i had constant dreams that it wasnt over
i've been having a lot of nightmares recently but im working through that w my therapist
im starting a 501 plan or somethin next school year so i can get better help for my mental illnesses
also apparently i do have anxiety?? i was talkin to my doctor about my panic attacks and constant fear about something bad happening and a constant sinking feeling and my gut and she said i have generalized anxiety disorder so yeehaw
during the school year i skipped english class quite often in the last couple months
i'd usually go off to hang out w alec or sit by myself in the hallways and try to not plan out my suicide
when my teacher asked why i was skipping class i just told her i had a lot of mental health issues
oh yeah i kept getting "supervised study" which is basically when u spend ur off period and the first 22 minutes of ur lunch period in the dean's office
which like
i spend my off period in the dean's anyways
bc its more fun there than crying alone in the library
but anyways
told the dean how school made me wanna die
she called the psychiatrist in
the lady told me "idk what to tell you"
and took me to the nurse to show me where i should go when i feel like shit
tbh i kinda,, lied
i have had panic attacks at school but the majority of the time i skipped class was because being at school made me wanna off myself so bad that i couldnt handle being in class
like it was really rough
one week in particular i blew out all my money (saving just enough to buy a rope from the home depot a mile away from my house) and skipped a bunch of class thinking i would just die at the end of the week
well it was raining really bad that whole week and i didnt feel like walking in soaking rain for a mile there and a mile back
so i procrastinated and now im better
oh yeah
my dog died
a while ago
couple months
idk if i already mentioned that
but uhh yeah
got a new dog
lowkey dislike him
but whatever
im probably,, not gonna update on this again
if i do it'll probably just be another life update if it turns out the whole recovery thing is going to shit
follow my instagram pleasee
and dm me if u wanna talk, just dont feel sad if i dont respond for a bit
im still doin kinda bad
see ya
heres art <3
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