Randomness in a Bottle

Real Talk

So can I be real with you guys for this chapter?

Yeah? Ok, thanks I need this.

So last summer (of 2014) I went through a serious depression. It wasn't the kind where I was sad all the time but it was more bipolar, like a faucet almost.

Y'know how you always see how these people are really depressed and they just want it to stop so the commit suicide? Yeah, I was going down that rode. Except the thing that made mine worse was I still want to keep living and accomplish stuff.

I eventually did come out of it (and pretty fast) with the help of an Internet friend Alyssa and 3 of my IRL friends, one of which didn't even know that he was doing it or the state I was in.

(Side note: This is a thank you to those 4 friends who helped me. I would like to say thank you so much for doing that (even if you didn't realize it till now). I still can't thank you enough and I probably would still be depressed without you.)

But I'm kinda slipping again.

My patents apparently had a "in depth" discussion about my Internet usage. I have now been put on a probation of 1 hour of "iPod time" a day.

My iPod is one of my main sources of happiness. I use it to communicate to my Internet friend(s) and my IRL ones, to go on Wattpad and connect with you guys, social media (Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, etc), and I watch all my anime on it as well.

See, one of the big reasons I slipped into my first depression was that I was isolated. I had no connection to anything except for writing chapters on Wattpad for about 3-4 months (that was because of my IRL friend Sophie but that's another story that I don't feel like publishing).

Another big reason was how poorly my family was treating me. Ok, imagine being nitpicked, teased, and hated on for just being there. Now multiply that by 10. That's how bad my family was treating me.

Now the same thing is happening and I know now that if I don't stop it here I will start cutting or worse. (I never did cut when I first got depressed but I came hella close to it though)

Sorry is this a lot to drop on you but this book is called "Randomness in a Bottle" for a reason.

~Abby